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Thread: What to do with a captured pirate

  1. #1
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    What to do with a captured pirate

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    BBC NEWS | Special Reports | What to do with a captured pirate

    Make them walk the plank?

    For sure this would be a real deterrent.

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    ANTI**ANTIFA
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    Re: What to do with a captured pirate

    Put him in bed/the brig/the hold with the captain's daughter, (3) [1]
    Early in the morning!

    Take him and shake him and try and wake him, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Make him walk the plank and swim at sea, (3x)
    Early in the morning!

    Make him kiss the gardeners daughter, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Put him in the scupper with a hosepipe on him, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Put him in the longboat til he's sober, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Keep him there and make him bale 'er, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Shave his belly with a rusty razor, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Put him in the pickle barrel til he's sober, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Put him in the grog barrel til he's pickled, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Throw him in the bilge and make him drink it, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Hang him from the mast like a jolly roger, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Soak him in oil til he's grown flippers, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Keelhaul him til he's sober, (3)
    Early in the morning!
    Var.
    Keelhaul him and pass the bottle, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Stick him in a bag and beat him senseless, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Put him in the brig until he's sober, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Slap him around and call him Suzie, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    You haven't seen the captain's daughter, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Put 'im in the crow's nest and watch him fall down, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Put 'im in a leaky boat an' make 'im bail 'er, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Put 'im in the back of the paddywagon, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Give 'im a dose of salt and water, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Give 'im a taste of the bosun's rope-end, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Stick on 'is back a mustard plaster, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Heave him by the leg in a running bowline, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Tie him to the taffrail when she’s yardarm under, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Set him polishing up the brasswork, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    'Round with the rum and scotch and whiskey, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    God Speed, The whales are comin', (3x)
    Early in the morning!

    Go to the market and buy some apples, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Hang him from the yardarm til he dangles, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Scratch his back with a Cat o' Nine Tails, (3)
    Early in the morning

    Have seen the captain's daughter? (2)
    Early in the morning!
    Followed by:
    Have you smelled the captain's daughter? (1)
    Early in the morning!

    Put a bag over his head and kick him in the bollocks, (3x)
    Early in the morning!

    Put him in the Head with his skivies on backwards, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Put him in the hull with an angry weasel, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Hoist him aboard with a running bowline, (3)
    Early in the morning!

    Ending
    That’s what we’ll do with a drunken sailor, (3)
    Early in the morning!
    Let evil swiftly befall those who have wrongly condemned us

  3. #3
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    Re: What to do with a captured pirate

    Aren't we getting ahead of ourselves a bit? First you have to catch one. I'm afraid given the ludicrous rules of engagement of the EU joint operation thats unlikely. Our ships are only allowed to 'discourage' pirates by being in the area. Rather difficult given the amount of ocean they are dealing with. Of course, we have the technological advantage. Our vessels know immediately when a ship has been attacked because they're all tracked on GPS. If one breaks from its designated route, anchors, or (the dead giveaway) makes for the coast of Somalia then we know something is up. Alas, the RoE prohibits our naval forces from actually re-taking the ships with armed force. Just imagine, all those marines sitting about on deck twiddling their thumbs, as piracy runs rampant, their salaries paid from our taxes.

    Oh, and the answer to the OP's question? .45 ACP to the temples, throw the bodies overboard. Once they start washing up on the beaches the Somali's will realise its no longer open season on shipping.

  4. #4
    Matthew 16:3

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    Re: What to do with a captured pirate

    I'd eat it.

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    Re: What to do with a captured pirate

    Quote Originally Posted by Tucker Case View Post
    I'd eat it.
    You be gettin' the scurvy then matie.
    "Loyalty only matters when there's a hundred reasons not to be-" Gen. Mattis

  6. #6
    Matthew 16:3

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    Re: What to do with a captured pirate

    Quote Originally Posted by WI Crippler View Post
    You be gettin' the scurvy then matie.
    Scurvy's not contagious, silly. I'd also eat an orange. Duh.

  7. #7
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    Re: What to do with a captured pirate

    Release them in Somalia.

  8. #8
    Matthew 16:3

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    Re: What to do with a captured pirate

    Quote Originally Posted by Laila View Post
    Release them in Somalia.
    I hate catch and release. I prefer to eat what I catch.

    I mean, I don't agree with trophy fishing either. If you aren't going to eat it, you shouldn't be doing it.

  9. #9
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    Re: What to do with a captured pirate

    Some of these "pirates" arent as guilty as you may think.Its the usual suspect who is the bad guy in this situation.Thats right FRANCE.Some of the bad things these pirates do include trying to stop european countries dumping nuclear waste in their sea.
    Last edited by mikhail; 03-14-09 at 10:43 AM.
    The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.

  10. #10
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    Re: What to do with a captured pirate

    Quote Originally Posted by Tucker Case View Post
    I hate catch and release. I prefer to eat what I catch.

    I mean, I don't agree with trophy fishing either. If you aren't going to eat it, you shouldn't be doing it.
    But the legal problems still exist, international law and piracy makes it hard for countries to prosecute. Very few options are left.

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