In a recently published, double-blind study at the Crippler Institute for Goofy Studies(CIGS), psuedo-scientists have discovered an even more dangerous hazard stemming from cigarette smoking.
Fourth Hand Smoke
Being beat to the punch of trying to uncover third hand smoke, CIGS non-researchers immediatley set out to find the next "dimension" of harm caused by cigarette smoke. What they found was startling.
Fourth Hand Smoke can best be defined as the mental anguish and stress suffered by anti-smokers, when they think about how much they hate smoking and all its ill effects. The symptoms included severe anger and disdain towards smokers, resulting in higher blood pressure, and also a desire to infringe upon the rights of individuals and private establishments. Some of them even masturbate to the "truth" commercials, although those are rare and extreme cases.
So smokers, next time you light one up, remember not only are you damaging your lungs, the lungs of people around you, and making furniture stink. You are also causing the anti-smoking people to have terrible headaches and periods of extreme personal judgment whenever they think you might be smoking.