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Thread: Premarital Abstinence Pledges Ineffective, Study Finds

  1. #91
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    Re: Premarital Abstinence Pledges Ineffective, Study Finds

    [QUOTE=Lachean;1057868273]That's not quite how it went, and you gave me reason to believe you were making moral value judgements when you claimed "if everyone waited until they were married" and used the word "pleasure" with contempt. Besides, many other posts of yours on theology that I've seen are evidence that supports my belief as well; not that they are relevant.
    [quote]
    Fine, fine, I'll use better word choice next time. It was actually refferencing to a different arguement. But yea, next time.
    However, if you're done you're done. But the fact remains that abstinence is not 100% effective, abstinence pledges are in fact ineffective and cause worse results. Also, people can get HPV for example without ever having had sex or contaminated medical products.
    IF they're having sex because they aren't abstaining? There is a difference in pledging abstainance, and actually doing it. Thats why I never favoured it. I can't promise the future bur at the present, I can promise I am abstaining and have always been.
    Sure I'll agree that its highly unlikely that a celibate would ever get an STD in their life; I just wouldn't call those years past puberty "living," nor is marriage any protection either, given cheating and the divorce rate.
    Why? Is sex all their is to enjoy in post-puberty? I find there to be much more in life than that.
    Your argument is no more to the point to me than the fact that an indoor cat lives longer than an outdoor cat. Not everyone plans to be married, nor are people deterred by appeals to fear.

    I don't do things for fear of the worst case scenario, that would be a miserable standard for living. You've got to have a better reason for abstinence than the possible negative outcomes of sex...
    *thinks for a moment*

    Is it the "fear" that turns you off, or is it the fact its just hard to do?
    You do really how GREAT sex is don't you?
    Yes. I think its so great that I want my first time to be with no one other than my wife. I don't favour the idea of "casual sex". I want sex to be special each time and the first time to be the most special.

    I asked you several times the reasons for your word choices with such contempt, you ignored them. You left me with no reason but to speculate why "marriage" as an institution is worth the wait.
    Sorry, I must have skimmed over it or something. It was basically in...attitude... in reference to one particulur argument, not really universal.
    Or why "pleasure" is a poor reason. And if you think "nothing" reflects your posting history of being a judgmental Christian, you should really do a search of your posts...
    The only judgements that have come from me, I think at least, has been catholics(due to the entire history involved, and the fact they are not run like a "church") and to a lesser extent, gays.
    I have VERY MANY reasons for believing you are how you are. Especially when you talk about "bad Christians" or describe a particular kind of Christianity. Didn't you say that "Well, I tell you, thats not christian. thats baloney" to those who claim that I'm going to hell for my lack of faith?
    well, it is. One comeing to a conclusion of where a person is going to go to in the afterlife is not christian, its just being a little arrogant that, somehow, one has the the authority to make that call. Last time I checked, God has that authority, not christians.

    But I digress.

    I do make pretentious judgements at times, but so does everyone else. I do not believe my religion causes me to make judgements, rather, it just influences what group will be on the receiving end...either way, it is wrong and...I apologize...

    Edit: wow....I....do have an ego....
    Please, help me w/ my reading skills.
    ouch....
    Last edited by DarkWizard12; 01-02-09 at 04:39 AM.

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    Re: Premarital Abstinence Pledges Ineffective, Study Finds

    DW, I'm not getting your argument at this point. Are you arguing for the elimination of sex ed? Are you saying it's pointless? Are you saying abstinence-only education is better?

    Please clarify.

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    Re: Premarital Abstinence Pledges Ineffective, Study Finds

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkWizard12 View Post
    IF they're having sex because they aren't abstaining? There is a difference in pledging abstainance, and actually doing it. Thats why I never favoured it. I can't promise the future bur at the present, I can promise I am abstaining and have always been.
    Would you have changed you decision if you were taught that you could possibly not receive an STD or impregnate a women by wearing a condom?

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkWizard12 View Post
    Yes. I think its so great that I want my first time to be with no one other than my wife. I don't favour the idea of "casual sex". I want sex to be special each time and the first time to be the most special.
    I have had sex with a number of women. Not too many. My first time was very special and with someone (also her first time) that I very much cared about and still do.

    I now have sex with my lovely wife and she is the last person I will be having sex with. The fact that we both had sex with other people before we ever knew each other did not and does not lower each moment we share in anyway. In fact, personally I believe it heightens it because of the experience and confidence we have gained in our sexual education.

    This is not meant to diminish your decision in any way. I just wanted to give you an opinion from a differing perspective.
    "Gold gets dug out of the ground in Africa, or someplace. Then we melt it down, dig another hole, bury it again and pay people to stand around guarding it. It has no utility. Anyone watching from Mars would be scratching their head."
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    Re: Premarital Abstinence Pledges Ineffective, Study Finds

    Quote Originally Posted by Orius View Post
    DW, I'm not getting your argument at this point. Are you arguing for the elimination of sex ed? Are you saying it's pointless? Are you saying abstinence-only education is better?

    Please clarify.
    He wants to eliminate it all together and dedicate classes on how to defend against influenza in its place. I thought that was clear?

    "Gold gets dug out of the ground in Africa, or someplace. Then we melt it down, dig another hole, bury it again and pay people to stand around guarding it. It has no utility. Anyone watching from Mars would be scratching their head."
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    Re: Premarital Abstinence Pledges Ineffective, Study Finds

    Quote Originally Posted by Orius View Post
    DW, I'm not getting your argument at this point. Are you arguing for the elimination of sex ed? Are you saying it's pointless? Are you saying abstinence-only education is better?

    Please clarify.
    I'm saying we should have 2 tier system. In otherwords, both. Abstinence should be taught alongside contemporary sex ed, as well as making it completely voluntary and localized so that parents have more control.

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    Re: Premarital Abstinence Pledges Ineffective, Study Finds

    Quote Originally Posted by Gibberish View Post
    He wants to eliminate it all together and dedicate classes on how to defend against influenza in its place. I thought that was clear?

    ^^^^^le sighs....*

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    Re: Premarital Abstinence Pledges Ineffective, Study Finds

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkWizard12 View Post
    I'm saying we should have 2 tier system. In otherwords, both. Abstinence should be taught alongside contemporary sex ed, as well as making it completely voluntary and localized so that parents have more control.
    I'm not sure how it is in the U.S., but growing up in Canada, it was mandatory for the kids to take sex ed classes unless the parents wrote a note saying not to. There were religious people in my class whose parents were not in favour of it, so they opted out and did other things during the period. The schools also issued notes to every family letting them know that sex ed was about to start, so they had time to ask questions or state objections.

    As for including abstinence as part of sex ed, that is already the case. One of the first things they tell you when you start a sex ed class is that abstinence is the only method of protecting yourself 100% from unwanted outcomes.

    I'm in favour of teaching abstinence as part of sex ed programs, as it is a perfectly valid choice, but it's not the only choice and we must also cater to that reality as well.

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    Re: Premarital Abstinence Pledges Ineffective, Study Finds

    Quote Originally Posted by Gibberish View Post
    Would you have changed you decision if you were taught that you could possibly not receive an STD or impregnate a women by wearing a condom?
    I was taught that really. Its just...well...I want to have sex, I get the urges like everyone else does, at night, every time I see a hot girl etc. and sometimes I do feel like just saying "forget it" and just going all the way. but in the end, when faced with the choice(and, at one time, I had a real chance to go all the way), it's difficult and mildly uncomfortable. Choosing to have sex before marriage just feels like it goes against who I really am.

    I have had sex with a number of women. Not too many. My first time was very special and with someone (also her first time) that I very much cared about and still do.

    I now have sex with my lovely wife and she is the last person I will be having sex with. The fact that we both had sex with other people before we ever knew each other did not and does not lower each moment we share in anyway. In fact, personally I believe it heightens it because of the experience and confidence we have gained in our sexual education.

    This is not meant to diminish your decision in any way. I just wanted to give you an opinion from a differing perspective.
    I do thank you for the opinion, it does mean alot to me. It's just, I still couldn't choose otherwise, at least not now. There are literally hundreds of reasons why I choose this and #1 is, its just who I am, my character. Outside of the illusion of privacy, that is the internet, I one of those geeky, non-confrontational, just-wants-to-do-what's-right, kind of a person. If simply waiting untill marriage is all it takes, then I'll wait as long as I have too. Everyone close to me, everyone who I care about, has discouraged me from having sex before marriage. I guess thats another reasonl I love my family and I want to make them proud. During High School, some friends did try to find some girls for me at times(full-grown, professionally-paid girls, if you know what I mean). I turned them down, again and again. Then one said, and I still remember, "I respect you, I really do. Anytime you want some, you can tell us and we'll hook you up, but, we won't encourage it, we won't push you".

    Well, thats about it. Some people can wait, some people can't. :shrug
    Last edited by DarkWizard12; 01-02-09 at 07:30 AM.

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    Re: Premarital Abstinence Pledges Ineffective, Study Finds

    . During High School, some friends did try to find some girls for me at times(full-grown, professionally-paid girls, if you know what I mean). I turned them down, again and again.
    This is a horrible idea. I'm glad you resisted it.
    No person's first sexual experience should be with a prostitute.
    Although I understand this was quite common- even customary- in the past.

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    Re: Premarital Abstinence Pledges Ineffective, Study Finds

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkWizard12 View Post
    IF they're having sex because they aren't abstaining? There is a difference in pledging abstainance, and actually doing it. Thats why I never favoured it. I can't promise the future bur at the present, I can promise I am abstaining and have always been.

    Why? Is sex all their is to enjoy in post-puberty? I find there to be much more in life than that.
    Not at all, but the intimacy of a sexual relationship and the joy of finding someone who is a reflection of your own virtues is something I could never live without. A life alone is a life wasted IMO, and to produce life is among the greatest acts on can perform.

    There is so much more to sex than the physical act. But more importantly, I don't believe in marriage as an institution (this is where my shrink if I had one would point out that my parents divorced as a child.) What if someone doesn't want to get married, or more importantly... what if they do, but fail at finding a mate later in life?

    No, sex isn't everything, but IMO most everything we do is motivated by sex one way or the other. For example, all of my hard work and studying for a career in accounting is I think so that I could land a 1st round draft pick of a wife (If I ever marry, I will do it for her, not because I wanted to.)

    Not simply for selfish aesthetic reasons, but because of the genetic advantage for my possible future children.

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkWizard12 View Post
    *thinks for a moment*

    Is it the "fear" that turns you off, or is it the fact its just hard to do?
    I think I made it clear that appeals to fear or worst case scenarios do not work on me.

    Unless you mean, turns me off of your point... In which case my answer is yes. If it is "good" to abstain from sex for fear of negative outcomes, that is a contemptible reason to be good. That to me is like being moral for fear of hell.

    IMO sex is great, and I am careful so I am clean. And also one can get tested and know if their partner is "safe."

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkWizard12 View Post
    Yes. I think its so great that I want my first time to be with no one other than my wife. I don't favour the idea of "casual sex". I want sex to be special each time and the first time to be the most special.
    I really don't see the virtue in losing your virginity to a wife, nor do I hear anyone advocating "casual sex." I have never been with anyone I did not know for a long time, loved, completely trusted, and knew I had nothing to fear.

    Trust me, one can have "special" sex before marriage. Assuming one is a good judge of character, and has good friends to block bad relationships.

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkWizard12 View Post
    Sorry, I must have skimmed over it or something. It was basically in...attitude... in reference to one particulur argument, not really universal.

    The only judgements that have come from me, I think at least, has been catholics(due to the entire history involved, and the fact they are not run like a "church") and to a lesser extent, gays.

    well, it is. One comeing to a conclusion of where a person is going to go to in the afterlife is not christian, its just being a little arrogant that, somehow, one has the the authority to make that call. Last time I checked, God has that authority, not christians.

    But I digress.

    I do make pretentious judgements at times, but so does everyone else. I do not believe my religion causes me to make judgements, rather, it just influences what group will be on the receiving end...either way, it is wrong and...I apologize...

    Edit: wow....I....do have an ego....

    ouch....
    Its cool, I don't see it as an ego issue. IMO my question was a trick "gotcha" question, because IMO it is impossible to say what is true, or what is "christian" without judging the things you regard as "not."

    IMO to defend what you believe is true, and criticize what you regard as immoral is what makes one a good person. People often tell me that my criticisms of their most sacred beliefs is disrespectful, but IMO I only do it because I respect them.

    My point is, everyone is "judgmental" and that's a very good thing to me.
    Last edited by Spartacus FPV; 01-02-09 at 12:15 PM.
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    no. You cannot lose rights you do not have in the first place. There is no such thing as the right to have any weapon of your choice regardless of any other consideration. It simply does not exist.

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