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I'm not sure about the bold. I believe that if they thought they could, they would. Many, but not most. But they would lose much of their less extreme voter base.
And yes, ensuring equality can be messy....but how much longer should blacks have had to wait after the Civil War? The Civil Rights movement was 100 yrs later. 100 yrs later, Jim Crow was still alive and well in the South, as well as some other places.
Yes, it was messy and even violent.....should the govt have just 'avoided' any action to move it forward and let the discrimination and injustices and literal dehumanization of a large group of people...citizens... in our country go on until that overt and legal racism just petered out on its own (IF it would have)?
The movement from laws against homosexuality to gay marriage has been accomplished in about 10% of the time it took to move from Appomattox to the Civil Rights Act, so no, I don't think think acceptance of some messiness at this moment is unreasonable. Especially since the number of people directly affected negatively would be minuscule.