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Stay-at-home moms: The sad truth behind those rosy media stories

Summerwind said:
Stay-at-home moms: The sad truth behind those rosy media stories - latimes.com

I've been wondering about this. I'm glad someone has followed up on this "phenomenon," though 23 to 29% doesn't seem altogether phenomenal.
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:shrug: I've been saying precisely this for years - pointing out that the couples I have actually physically sat down with to do financial counseling often discover that "having two incomes" is actually a net financial loss for the household.
 
Gathomas88 said:
I really don't see a problem with that. :shrug:
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That's because you're not ideologically vested in steering womens' choices towards full-time-work-all-their-lives.
 
Gathomas88 said:
If that's a person's primary concern, I'd frankly argue that they probably shouldn't be having children in the first place.

There are plenty of married women (I'd probably even go so far as to say most) who take at least a couple of years off after having children. It's generally not a career killer.

Hell, my own mother just went back to work as a nurse after spending 20 years as a house wife. She's making over $30,000.00 a year now.
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Yes but if your an employer and you have two applicants to choose from both of which have the same education level but one of them has been employed for the past 5 years, can provide current and updated refrences. Who would you employ?
 
cpwill said:
That's because you're not ideologically vested in steering womens' choices towards full-time-work-all-their-lives.
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Seems kind of like a modern update on the old English "nanny" system, only with a more feminist bent.

It honestly strikes me as being sort of messed up. If a couple's going to bother to have children, they should also commit to putting those children's interests ahead of their own.
 
Gathomas88 said:
In this case, it's not (the OP article mentioned that it can actually cost more than a college education), so women are staying home instead.

I really don't see a problem with that. :shrug:
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actually there has been a sharp increase in stay at home dads since the 2008 crash. Women are not the only ones who can raise kids.
 
Sababa said:
actually there has been a sharp increase in stay at home dads since the 2008 crash. Women are not the only ones who can raise kids.
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That's mostly due to unemployment, rather than any conscious decision on their own parts. Men simply lost their jobs with much greater frequency following the crash than women did.

If a guy wants to do that, I suppose he can. However, let's not confuse correlation and causation here.
 
Gathomas88 said:
That's mostly due to unemployment, rather than any conscious decision on their own parts. Men simply lost their jobs with much greater frequency following the crash than women did.

If a guy wants to do that, I suppose he can. However, let's not confuse correlation and causation here.
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no one is doing that. I am stating a fact.....
 
Summerwind said:
Stay-at-home moms: The sad truth behind those rosy media stories - latimes.com



I've been wondering about this. I'm glad someone has followed up on this "phenomenon," though 23 to 29% doesn't seem altogether phenomenal.
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Of the couples with kids I know, most are homes where the mother stays at home. And many of these are women with degrees. My advisers wife has a PhD in Chemistry, but wanted to be a stay at home mom. One of my friends had been working and doing daycare with their son, but when she got pregnant again she decided she had enough of work and wanted to stay at home. They could have still done the day care thing, she could have still worked, but she decided that working was for suckers. Well, actually she wanted to be home with her kids...but working is for suckers.

It's not the worst thing ever if we find ourselves in a place where more households can afford a stay at home parent.
 
I would like to take this time and opportunity to blame the right, for insisting on an Iron Age work ethic in modern times; when we could be solving simple poverty on an at-will basis in our republic.
 
Higgins86 said:
Yes but if your an employer and you have two applicants to choose from both of which have the same education level but one of them has been employed for the past 5 years, can provide current and updated references. Who would you employ?
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The one who is worth more. But what a strange economy you live in, where there is only one job available at a time.
 
Gathomas88 said:
If that's a person's primary concern, I'd frankly argue that they probably shouldn't be having children in the first place.

There are plenty of married women (I'd probably even go so far as to say most) who take at least a couple of years off after having children. It's generally not a career killer.

Hell, my own mother just went back to work as a nurse after spending 20 years as a house wife. She's making over $30,000.00 a year now.
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My step mother was a nurse, and took off 14 years to stay at home. She had a heck of a time finding work because of being off for so long. When I was a young adult, she advised me to never give up a career to raise children, to keep working throughout. Even my dad, who wanted her to stay home, said that he was wrong.
 
Scrabaholic said:
My step mother was a nurse, and took off 14 years to stay at home. She had a heck of a time finding work because of being off for so long. When I was a young adult, she advised me to never give up a career to raise children, to keep working throughout. Even my dad, who wanted her to stay home, said that he was wrong.
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She found a job, and the kids got raised.

I fail to see how. :shrug:

Believe it or not, there are some of us out there who value family over a pay check.
 
Sababa said:
actually there has been a sharp increase in stay at home dads since the 2008 crash. Women are not the only ones who can raise kids.
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Exactly. My niece works (though she's on maternity leave now) while her husband stays home with their children, that works best for them.
 
Gathomas88 said:
She found a job, and the kids got raised.

I fail to see how. :shrug:

Believe it or not, there are some of us out there who value family over a pay check.
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Maybe, in some families, having an outside job keeps the woman sane so she *can* raise her kids properly...
 
Scrabaholic said:
Maybe, in some families, having an outside job keeps the woman sane so she *can* raise her kids properly...
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Different strokes, I suppose. My mother doesn't even like working, and frankly feels kind of guilty about having to go back to work at all.

She actually wishes she could've stayed home until the last of my brothers and sisters were out of the house, or at least in their teens (the youngest is now 10).

That being said, however, you have to wonder just how much "raising" a person can really do working full time in the first place.
 
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