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Girl, 9, barred from school for shaving head to support friend with cancer

Redress said:
Why is this hard? If you don't like the rules, do not send your kid to the school.
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"Rules" yes rules, more rules, can't have enough rules, rules must NEVER be broken, oh the glory of rules.
When rules are stupid they must be broken in order to change them.
 
CanadaJohn said:
I went to private Catholic schools at the elementary and secondary level. We had very strict dress codes too, but the Priests and Nuns were not so utterly anal that they didn't understand that life is happening outside the school's doors. We frequently had "dress down days" to raise funds for charity or special days to support a student who was or whose family was going through a serious medical problem.

It's not about private schools or dress codes - it's about ignorant, self-absorbed administrators and teachers who believe they run the world and can't think outside of a handbook they're handed. It's pathetic what passes for education leadership these days.
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no they are called rules for a reason, and i am sure if the girl had asked before hand there wouldn't have been an issue, but she didn't and went ahead and did it anyway.

normally i side in favor of the students simply because schools are stupid, but i know how private schools are run. unlike public schools they expect you to follow the rules.
they let her back in.

they still upheld the policy as stated.
 
rhinefire said:
"Rules" yes rules, more rules, can't have enough rules, rules must NEVER be broken, oh the glory of rules.
When rules are stupid they must be broken in order to change them.
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life is run by rules and guidelines. people that break them usually end up in jail or dead.
 
CanadaJohn said:
The outcome may be correct, in the end, but I don't agree that everyone did the right thing here. To punish a child for having shown her love and support for a friend in trouble is just so wrong on so many levels. Considering how selfish and self-centered many young people are today, this child should have been given a student of the month badge/trophy and held up as an example of how others can show support and empathy for those less fortunate.
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I disagree. She should not be celebrated by the school for breaking a school rule. However, what she did was so purely good I believe the school did the right thing in excepting her from the rule. It says two things to the student body - one that the rules matter and are equally applied and two that there can be exceptions for previously unforeseen circumstances.
 
Lutherf said:
It's not that surprising. Liberals LOVE rules telling other people what to do. They only hate the rules that tell them what to do.
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Hey, I have to agree with the school, the rule was in the student handbook. They're probably worried about skinheads in the school or something, but the rule was there. They're required to enforce it.
 
ludin said:
life is run by rules and guidelines. people that break them usually end up in jail or dead.
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People break rules all the time and don't end up punished for them due to there being exceptions made due to circumstances.

That episode of Star Trek: TNG, Justice comes to mind here. The one where they went to the paradise planet and Wesley fell into the flower beds playing with the other kids and they didn't know that it was "illegal". The only punishment they had for any crime was death. They refused to take into account the circumstances of the event, only considering that a law was broken.

"Jean-Luc Picard: I don't know how to communicate this, or even if it is possible, but the question of justice has concerned me greatly of late and I say to any creature who may be listening, there can be no justice so long as laws are absolute. Even life itself is an exercise in exceptions.
William Riker: When has justice ever been as simple as a rule book?"
 
American said:
Hey, I have to agree with the school, the rule was in the student handbook. They're probably worried about skinheads in the school or something, but the rule was there. They're required to enforce it.
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It's a bull**** rule. How many high school football teams shave their heads as a sign of 'team spirit'? It's FAR from an unusual practice and there are plenty of good reasons for doing it INCLUDING as a sign of support for a friend with cancer. Bull**** rules need to be challenged on a regular basis or else you end up with runaway totalitarianism and THAT is intolerable.
 
mike2810 said:
Still no answer to my question.

"But in a special meeting, school officials decided to let her come back to school Tuesday"
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"However, she added exceptions could be made “under exigent and extraordinary circumstance"

See, the school can bend the rule. Things should never be so black/white that exceptions cannot be made.
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[emphasis added by bubba]

that word might need to be changed, especially given the context in which it was used
 
Gipper said:
Then it's not stealing. It's giving. Denial of pressing charges is essentially consent.

I really don't believe in the concept of fascist parents or "helicopter moms", but kids do need some structure. You can tell who the "hands-off" parents were, because their kids grow up to think that rules don't pertain to them.
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That's an example of when a rule can be overturned.

Yep, we have similar opinions. Give the young ones a basic set of rules for conduct and let them develop into who'll they'll be.

"Hands off" parents are basically raising brats. Might as well tell your kids to TP the house.
 
Gipper said:
She could've asked permission from the school. This isn't public school; there are distinct rules.
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It's her hair. Should she have to ask permission if she wants to wear it in a pony tail?

If she was the one that had cancer, and her hair started to fall out...would she have to ask permision to shave it then?

If she wants to cut her hair what is permissable? Seems to me she has to do to please the adminstration.
 
justabubba said:
the parents should have kept quiet and sued - for large money - that their daughter was denied an education because her head was shaved for medical reasons: to get rid of lice
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So your answer is to perpetrate fraud for a large sum of money.

Gotcha.

I think the rule being applied here is ridiculous, but it's also a private school. The parents should've understood what they were going into when they signed their kid up. If they wanted to shave the head, they should've checked with the school first in terms of a possible waiver with regards to the policy.
 
justabubba said:
[emphasis added by bubba]

that word might need to be changed, especially given the context in which it was used
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If you don't understand the way the phase was used that is not my problem.

But to help you out. There should be grey areas to rules.
 
rhinefire said:
"uniformity", in this application isn't that another way of say they discourage students from thinking as individuals?
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What type of hair you have has nothing to do with what you're able to THINK.

It could be argued that it's another way to say they discourage kids from ACTING like individuals when it comes to appearance.

Again, if the family didn't like the schools rules they shouldn't have enrolled their kid in it. I may think the rules are stupid. You may think the rule is stupid. But the parents AGREED to those rules and the school is free to have those rules.
 
sawyerloggingon said:
I really can't grasp how anyone could hide behind a "dress code" in making a decision like this. Whoever made this ruling needs to be given cancer if that was possible.
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So enforcing a muturally agreed upon rule is reason wish a person to contract a life threatening disease in your mind.

That makes sense.
 
Redress said:
See, this is one of those totally avoidable situations. Let us imagine a scenario: girl wants to shave head to express support for friend with cancer(sound familiar? Just like what did happen, until...). Girl, knowing school has strict dress code and forbids shaved heads, goes to school administrators first. Now the administrators can either say, as they actually did when she came to school with a shaved head, you will need to wear a wig while actually at school, or they can say, well, you where willing to work with us so we will make an exception.

What actually happened is the girl just ignored the rule and did as she pleased, which left the school with fewer options. Simply being proactive on her part would have solved things. This should be an important lesson for the girl. Too bad people are too busy being outraged...
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I personally am not outraged by the story, while I would normally agree with you on the rules need to be enforced thing, however I notice that as of late, discretion on the part of the school administrators is woefully lacking. This being a nine year old girl I believe the onus is on the adults ie parents AND the administration to deal with this matter and not the girl. I don't believe its the girls responsibility to ask permission to do something like this. Discretion was not exercised by any of the adults in this story until the end. Its seems to be a lost art.
 
The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.

I would not enroll my child in a school where conformity is so high that an act of compassion inadvertently represents an act of rebellion.
 
clownboy said:
It was wrong of them to enforce this rule in this case. However, they did let the girl back immediately and are meeting about changing the rule as we speak.

God bless both those little girls.
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Good to hear. If the parents were aware that she was going to do this, then I believe the parents acted foolishly and irresponsabily in allowing their child to break the rules without using a tiny bit of intelligence, forethought, and responsability and conversing with the school officials prior to doing it. If they didn't know, then it probalby should be imparted on the child that actions can have consequences and to be sure to check the rules in the future; however, it should be worked out to where she can be back in school quick and easy.

I'm happy to see it looks like the kid will be able to be back in class and the school will find a way to add a bit more wiggle room to the rule.
 
Zyphlin said:
So enforcing a muturally agreed upon rule is reason wish a person to contract a life threatening disease in your mind.

That makes sense.
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All enforcement actions require discretion, good enforcement utilizes a good amount of it. The administration has discretion which they failed to utilize until they were forced into a corner because of bad publicity. Discretion it seems these days is a little practiced and rapidly disappearing art form.
 
sawyerloggingon said:
Using a dress code rule to stop this little girl from showing her support for a friend with cancer deserves tit for tat.
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Oh wow, my apologies. All this time I thought the school had barred the child from class for a few days. I hadn't realized they had afflicted here with a life threatening disease. Sorry about that sawyer, I should've never suggested you were being ridiculous and over the top in your desire for someone to get cancer, it's clearly tit for tat.
 
Gipper said:
She could've asked permission from the school. This isn't public school; there are distinct rules.
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She shouldn't need to. Wanna bet they modify the rule?
 
PirateMk1 said:
All enforcement actions require discretion, good enforcement utilizes a good amount of it. The administration has discretion which they failed to utilize until they were forced into a corner because of bad publicity. Discretion it seems these days is a little practiced and rapidly disappearing art form.
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In a general sense, I agree with you. I am MUCH more in favor of rules and enforcement that provide for a wide level of discretion.

At the same time, I also recognize that people in general have created this obnoxious and ridiculous "damend if you don't / damned if you do" society where zero tolerance polices become the norm in part because being hyper offended and sue happy is ALSO the norm, and one came about to combat the other. Both are extremes and both are crappy...but we're not going to get to a point where one or the other isn't the norm unless people can agree to be decent, thinking, rational human beings. And frankly, people as a whole are not seemingly, decent, thinking, rational human beings. Not enough so that a true middle ground seemingly can happen.

So while I very much dislike Zero Tolerance type of policies, I also have a hard time blaming those that institute them.

This is heightened here with it being a charter school. Unlike a public school, the parent is CHOOSING to put their child here. They have a "free" alternative with a more publicly enforced style of rules and methods. They CHOSE to enroll their child into a place that promotes "uniformity" and a "distraction free" environment to the point where it bans shaved heads. I have less symapthy for the parents, not the child, being upset or bothered that something they CHOSE to get involved with enforced the rules they CHOSE to agree to.
 
Teams usually wear uniforms in order to show solidarity. It can be a positive aspect for any group situation, where the goal is an organized outcome. I think schools with uniform codes help keep kids from over socializing and being distracted during learning time.

But there's always exceptions to rules that merit consideration. If the school wants to uphold such a rule in this situation, they should take the heat of criticism for it. Even if it was temporarily.

There's a new TV commercial, where the mother basically encourages her infant age children to blow bubbles in a glass of over flowing, chocolate milk, because she can use the advertised, improved Paper Towels to clean up. The message is "make a mess" because mommy is nuts? I don't get it.

On one hand, we tell our kids their infallible, and on the other, we penalize them for being independent thinkers. If they turn out confused, should we be surprised?
 
Zyphlin said:
Oh wow, my apologies. All this time I thought the school had barred the child from class for a few days. I hadn't realized they had afflicted here with a life threatening disease. Sorry about that sawyer, I should've never suggested you were being ridiculous and over the top in your desire for someone to get cancer, it's clearly tit for tat.
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Obviously the person or persons that barred this young girl from school for showing her support for a friend with cancer has no experience with the horror of the disease. My remark that they should be injected with cancer was meant to point out the fact that they need to learn some empathy for people with cancer and those that love them. Your trying to take me literally on this is a bit pathetic and dodges the real issue here.
 
Redress said:
It is a charter school. If you do not like their policies, don't send your kids there.
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F their rules. I'd send my kid back to school with a shaved head wearing an NRA tshirt armed with a dangerous peanut butter sandwich.
 
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