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Thread: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room[W:829]

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    Well I'm sorry the nurses made you feel unwelcomed. But why is it not okay that things about mother and baby? Mother's gone through hell for 9 months and such and such hours. Yes, attention should be on her. She's the one suffering and then in recovery.

    But even then: the treatment of a few people toward you doesn't mean everyone has that same experience. If someone was a jerk to you in particular it is your right to complain. (Did you file a complaint? They won't address individual staff issues if you don't voice your opinion when it matters).

    Some of this is a matter of the quality of hospital (like bedding concerns). After my experience at a low-rate hospital I did go out of my way to secure L&D in better conditions the next times. And thus, those better hospitals were generally more open to family and so forth.

    My husband's recollection of being there was different - he has pleasant memories and hardly felt negated during the process, even though all attention was on me.

    However, the OP is not in regard to married couples. If the OP was in regard to married couples I'd have a different opinion. I do believe married fathers have rights that unmarried fathers do not. Hence: being married. They're involved, responsible, and connected to it more. I guess things get blurred if they're married but legally separated for a while.

    But the topic in debate covers singles: divorcees and other people who might not even be involved at all beyond sex in the past.

    Surely: if she wants to have her ex or boyfriend there, she can.
    I would agree that in the case of a married couple, the father might have more rights than those who are unmarried. I imagine that most of the time the mom would want dad to be there anyways (especially if he really wanted to be there), so this would probably rarely be an issue with married couples.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by OscarB63 View Post
    typical of that camp. If it is a decision or law they agree with, then "it's the law". If they disagree, "it's not fair, the law needs to be changed"
    This is not a wrong a decision. Everyone is entitled to their privacy, especially in regards to medical care. I don't care WHO wants to watch or why.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Not just the naked part, but the whole THING. A woman in labor is very vulnerable, frightened sometimes and in a LOT of pain and agony. I cannot imagine someone trying to "force" themselves upon me at the time. It just stinks! They guy who does this is a real selfish jerk. There is absolutely NO reason at all why he can't come to the hospital and see the baby AFTER it's born. There is no "right" to be in the delivery room unless you are the patient or doctor. Anyone else is an invitee and can be uninvited at ANY time because it is a medical procedure subject to HIPAA laws. The woman/mother is a patient and is most certainly entitled to her privacy.
    Exactly!

    I would question why he would want to force the woman attempting to give birth to his child into a more stressful situation. HIPPA aside, upping the stress level in an already stressful situation is just a messed up thing to do.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    Well I'm sorry the nurses made you feel unwelcomed. But why is it not okay that things about mother and baby? Mother's gone through hell for 9 months and such and such hours. Yes, attention should be on her. She's the one suffering and then in recovery.

    But even then: the treatment of a few people toward you doesn't mean everyone has that same experience. If someone was a jerk to you in particular it is your right to complain. (Did you file a complaint? They won't address individual staff issues if you don't voice your opinion when it matters).

    Some of this is a matter of the quality of hospital (like bedding concerns). After my experience at a low-rate hospital I did go out of my way to secure L&D in better conditions the next times. And thus, those better hospitals were generally more open to family and so forth.

    My husband's recollection of being there was different - he has pleasant memories and hardly felt negated during the process, even though all attention was on me.

    However, the OP is not in regard to married couples. If the OP was in regard to married couples I'd have a different opinion. I do believe married fathers have rights that unmarried fathers do not. Hence: being married. They're involved, responsible, and connected to it more. I guess things get blurred if they're married but legally separated for a while.

    But the topic in debate covers singles: divorcees and other people who might not even be involved at all beyond sex in the past.

    Surely: if she wants to have her ex or boyfriend there, she can.
    I'm thinking that you may have misconstrued my relating the experiance as me complaining and perhaps "sticking up" for the guy in the OP. I wasn't. I fully understood why I was treated the way I was and I didn't mind it one bit. They were just trying to protect the baby. There have been cases of dad's kidnapping the babies after birth. Since I knew this I didn't mind. The reason I related my experiance was to show that this kind of thing is not new and frankly should be expected. I was told in no uncertain terms that even though I was married that if my wife didn't want me in the room they would kick me out. Along with anyone else that she didn't want in there. I have no problem with that. And if they are quite willing to kick out the husband who does have certain rights why wouldn't they not allow someone who isn't married in if they weren't even married? Frankly it surprises me that so many are at the very least agitated over what happened with the guy in the OP.

    Hell, my father never saw any of his kids (4 of em) born. At that time they didn't even give the option of allowing the fathers in the birthing room. My wife let anyone that was family into the room. It was the first time my dad had been in the room when a child was born. All in all it was a great experiance and I wouldn't trade it for anything in this entire universe.
    I have an answer for everything...you may not like the answer or it may not satisfy your curiosity..but it will still be an answer. ~ Kal'Stang

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Zeppnile View Post
    I didn't say that it does. But we are back to the "which moments can't be shared" argument again. Although in all joint custody arrangements the courts allow for joint access to children during graduations, religious events like bar mitzvas and first communions because they must be shared, they cannot be divided. The after party may be different, but the other parent has a right to be included in special events with reasonable access.
    And once the baby is born and separated from the mother's body, I agree.

    Until then, the welfare of the mother and baby are of utmost importance. Stressed out mother in the throws of labor - becoming more stressed - unreasonable and unhealthy - and in the words of another poster, somewhat sadistic.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Zeppnile View Post
    She was naked when she made the baby, she should be used to it by now. Besides, I've been in three delivery rooms and the last thing a woman is thinking about is her naked butt when she in that much pain.

    My wife could have been on the 50th yardline at the superbowl game giving birth and modesty would have been way down the list of her worries while pushing out a 9.5 lb baby.
    Your perception of being in the delivery room with someone who wants you there. Think beyond your personal situation for a moment.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Kal'Stang View Post
    Before my kids were born it was made fairly evident that mother came first. She chose the maner of delivery (drugs or not, bathtub or not etc etc). She chose who was and wasn't in the room. Everything was about her. Even after the kids were born and we were still in the hospital everything was about the mother and baby. I was literally treated like a suspected pedophile. I could not even hold the baby unless my wife said it was ok to the nurse and had to get permission to sleep in a chair in the hospital room with my wife.
    My experience was exactly the opposite. As long as dad had the armband that matched our son's he was good to go.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    Just as in consent given for sex in prior cases when it comes to rape, prior consent is not an automatic ticket to future consent when it comes to seeing someone naked.

    And it doesn't matter whether he would be thinking about her sexually or not. She has every right to maintain her privacy from people that are not necessary in the room, including the baby's father.
    A few questions for you in your opinion:

    1. Is the baby a person?
    2. When is a baby a person?
    3. Is a mother a mother before a baby is a person?
    4. Is a father a father before a baby is a person?
    5. Does a fetus have a mother?
    6. Does a fetus have a father?
    7. If a mother decides to abort her fetus and the father doesn't agree can a father still say he lost his child?
    8. Do women's rights trump all other human rights?

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Moderator's Warning:
    New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room[W:829] This is not the abortion forum and this thread has nothing to do with abortion. Keep it and any subject relating to it out of the thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Zeppnile View Post
    A few questions for you in your opinion:

    1. Is the baby a person?
    2. When is a baby a person?
    3. Is a mother a mother before a baby is a person?
    4. Is a father a father before a baby is a person?
    5. Does a fetus have a mother?
    6. Does a fetus have a father?
    7. If a mother decides to abort her fetus and the father doesn't agree can a father still say he lost his child?
    8. Do women's rights trump all other human rights?
    I have an answer for everything...you may not like the answer or it may not satisfy your curiosity..but it will still be an answer. ~ Kal'Stang

    My mind and my heart are saying I'm in my twenties. My body is pointing at my mind and heart and laughing its ass off. ~ Kal'Stang

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Zeppnile View Post
    Okay, I went back and read your post #709 but I don't see your point? What does that have to with the other person's quote about a rapist having parental rights in response to my quote which he took out of context and then you parroted, and then added a challenge?

    When the other poster made the ridiculous remark about a rapist's parental rights because I used the term "any father" within a context which I was speaking about any father who is not an estranged ex fiance; meaning any father who would normally be in a delivery room; I called that post a typical liberal move; the post was ridiculous. Why you chose to use that same quote was baffling to me, but hey you are the one that did that. If it was your intention to dispute my position on a father's rights, I don't think that comment was in itself very useful. If you wanted me to respond to your position as stated pages back in post #709 was your intention, then you could have raised those points again to me and I would responded to them directly. But that is not what you did is it? The part about "get over it" and "life goes on" was also not exactly a debate point was it?
    We agree that you are confused on this topic.

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Zeppnile View Post
    Well, I have a difference of opinion on waiting 25 minutes to respond. If something is said and it is taken a certain way, it doesn't take 25 minutes for the perceived intent of a comment to sink in. Usually in my experience the way something comes out the first time is the way the person intended it to be taken. In a debate people usually don't go back and say, "oh, what I said a half hour ago, I want to change" and expect to be taken seriously. Of course if that same person wishes to go back and correct something I suppose they are free to do so at any time.
    Which is why pointing out that someone edited their post doesn't serve any purpose. It's like saying "Oh and I see you brushed your teeth today" as though you noticed deception. Editing is perfectly normal and you seem to be the only one who cares.

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