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Thread: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room[W:829]

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Peter King View Post
    The child belongs to both? I am sorry but that is nice for legal talk but normally the real burden always falls to the woman. Men might be forced to pay and if they are willing to be good parents they are such things a few times/few weekends a month but that is not the same as belonging to both. A father may or not get the same level of custody is not the same as "belonging to both of them".
    The laws in your country may be different. But in the USA most parents are granted joint custody of their children unless a court finds reason why one parent may not be suitable for joint custody. In the state I live in 'joint custody' means shared custody and a court issues a schedule for that arrangement. Nobody knows the details of this case, and I'm not certain what the particular laws are in New Jersey. But it may turn out that this woman has to allow this father to have the child with him, in his home, under his care for half the time. It may also turn out that her insistence during the birth ends up with a custody battle situation that may be far less amicable than she anticipated. If it turns out that way, it might be said that she made a bad move. And who knows, it could also turn out with the father being given full custodial care of the child? If there were evidence of the mother using drugs or being unfit, a court could put the child fully with the father. That is how it goes sometimes, and that is why lawyers make a lot of money in these battles.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by year2late View Post
    "Get over it?"

    Seriously, we are talking about labor and delivery. Y'all are acting like that is a time that it is realistic for a woman to control those feelings at that time.
    I don't believe any father should take a back seat to his own children under any circumstances.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Zeppnile View Post
    I don't believe any father should take a back seat to his own children under any circumstances.
    You're right a rapist should have the right to be at the delivery room for his rape baby from god right? Remember you said ANY father.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Zeppnile View Post
    So let me ask you, if a mother decides she doesn't want the father in the delivery room, would you say that should apply to any delivery? Lets say a mother had an argument with her husband about the baby name, and then ordered the father out of the delivery room because she said so. Do you believe she would have an absolute right to that as well?



    Obviously none of us knows what all of the personal issues there are between these two people. But we do know that the father had to hire a lawyer and go before a judge, so he felt very strongly about being present during the birth of his child. And who knows, maybe if there had been more time to appeal the lower judge's ruling, and higher court may have instituted a different decision? Not every judge gets these things right. I just believe that this woman was demanding privacy from a man who she wasn't "private with" for a long time. What would be so intrusive by allowing the father in the room, behind the woman so she doesn't have to see him, and her private area draped off? Delivery rooms do this all of the time.




    Why shouldn't he push it? This is a child that he was having with a woman whom he was once engaged to. They made the decision to have the baby, keep the baby, and at one point be married. She is the one who was pushing him out of being there when his child was being born. She is the one who was denying her child from having a father who wanted to be there present for the birth. This isn't about one person; it's not even about two people; this about THREE people who will only have this happen one time.
    I disagree. It is about one - the about to be baby. The fetus is best served transitioning from momland to outsidelands when mom is focused on the birthing process. If mom feels like dad is a distraction and causing her stress. That is her call. And frankly the doctor's as well!

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Zeppnile View Post
    I don't believe any father should take a back seat to his own children under any circumstances.
    A back seat to his children??What the heck are you talking about?

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Zeppnile View Post
    So let me ask you, if a mother decides she doesn't want the father in the delivery room, would you say that should apply to any delivery? Lets say a mother had an argument with her husband about the baby name, and then ordered the father out of the delivery room because she said so. Do you believe she would have an absolute right to that as well?

    Obviously none of us knows what all of the personal issues there are between these two people. But we do know that the father had to hire a lawyer and go before a judge, so he felt very strongly about being present during the birth of his child. And who knows, maybe if there had been more time to appeal the lower judge's ruling, and higher court may have instituted a different decision? Not every judge gets these things right. I just believe that this woman was demanding privacy from a man who she wasn't "private with" for a long time. What would be so intrusive by allowing the father in the room, behind the woman so she doesn't have to see him, and her private area draped off? Delivery rooms do this all of the time.

    Why shouldn't he push it? This is a child that he was having with a woman whom he was once engaged to. They made the decision to have the baby, keep the baby, and at one point be married. She is the one who was pushing him out of being there when his child was being born. She is the one who was denying her child from having a father who wanted to be there present for the birth. This isn't about one person; it's not even about two people; this about THREE people who will only have this happen one time.
    I believe that for any delivery. I don't care if she simply decided that he brought her the wrong kind of food for breakfast one morning that she doesn't want him in the room. It is still her choice, her right. Now, if he leaves her for denying him that privilege (especially if they did have a good relationship right up to that point), then so be it, and I'd say if it were a fairly trivial reason she had, then she is a lot to blame for the divorce. But it is still her absolute right to deny him into that delivery room.

    I don't care what the reason is, it is still her right. Are there reasons that she denies the father of her baby access that would make me view her as a bitch? Sure. Is this one of them? Not without a lot more information, especially not after he took her to court over this.

    And he shouldn't have fought it because it was pointless and made their relationship more strained even before their baby is born for his own selfishness. His being there is absolutely not necessary for his bonding with that baby and once the mother said "no", he should have just dropped it and been happy with what he would be allowed, seeing/holding the baby after she/he is born.
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Zeppnile View Post
    The laws in your country may be different. But in the USA most parents are granted joint custody of their children unless a court finds reason why one parent may not be suitable for joint custody. In the state I live in 'joint custody' means shared custody and a court issues a schedule for that arrangement. Nobody knows the details of this case, and I'm not certain what the particular laws are in New Jersey. But it may turn out that this woman has to allow this father to have the child with him, in his home, under his care for half the time. It may also turn out that her insistence during the birth ends up with a custody battle situation that may be far less amicable than she anticipated. If it turns out that way, it might be said that she made a bad move. And who knows, it could also turn out with the father being given full custodial care of the child? If there were evidence of the mother using drugs or being unfit, a court could put the child fully with the father. That is how it goes sometimes, and that is why lawyers make a lot of money in these battles.
    Joint custody does not mean that you have free and uninhibited access to your children at absolutely any time you want. You must share time with the other parent.
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

    Keep your religion out of other people's marriages.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by TheNextEra View Post
    You're right a rapist should have the right to be at the delivery room for his rape baby from god right? Remember you said ANY father.
    LOL! What a typical response from a liberal, to take something completely out of context from the conversation and then attempt to apply to their argument.

    Did that make you "feel" good? LOL

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by year2late View Post
    "Get over it?"

    Seriously, we are talking about labor and delivery. Y'all are acting like that is a time that it is realistic for a woman to control those feelings at that time.
    The only time I've yelled at my husband at all in our 7 years of marriage and 8 1/2 years together was during the birth of our first child. (Now it was just to get him to go get the nurse because she left the room about 10 seconds before I got the urge to push, after having just told me to tell her immediately when I felt like I had to. He practically ran from the room.)

    Honestly, its kinda sadistic to want to be in the room with a woman having a baby, knowing that she doesn't want you in there, so she isn't going to be comforted at all by your presence, and that you will be seeing her in extreme pain without even being able to give her comfort even if you want to.
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

    Keep your religion out of other people's marriages.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    Joint custody does not mean that you have free and uninhibited access to your children at absolutely any time you want. You must share time with the other parent.
    I didn't say that it does. But we are back to the "which moments can't be shared" argument again. Although in all joint custody arrangements the courts allow for joint access to children during graduations, religious events like bar mitzvas and first communions because they must be shared, they cannot be divided. The after party may be different, but the other parent has a right to be included in special events with reasonable access.

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