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Thread: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room[W:829]

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    And their relationship ended for reasons that we do not know, but it ended none the less and they are not (were not) on the best of terms starting sometime during the end of the pregnancy. It doesn't matter what their prior relationship was. The current tension (or rather that at the time of the birth or assumed to be at the time of the birth) is what matters. Even if they were still together, it is the mother's right to privacy if she feels that his presence would be stressful on her. He has no right to be there, despite his wishes otherwise. It is her health on the line if she is forced to endure stress from a person she doesn't want in her delivery room for whatever the reason, not his. And in fact, that added stress even puts the baby at a higher risk of problems. So it is best, no matter his personal desire to be in the room (because his presence is not necessary) that he not be in the room.
    The best part about it

    it doesnt even matter if they were in fact married and she said she wanted to do it just to be mean. While in my OPINION that would be ****ty, it has no impact on her rights. SHe still has the right to do so and it doesnt infringe on the mans in any way.
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by AGENT J View Post
    The best part about it

    it doesnt even matter if they were in fact married and she said she wanted to do it just to be mean. While in my OPINION that would be ****ty, it has no impact on her rights. SHe still has the right to do so and it doesnt infringe on the mans in any way.
    Exactly. Now, in such a case, I'd say divorce would likely be in the future (unless he is fine with his wife acting like that, and some men are), but it is still her right to privacy, even if she is a bitch about it.

    I was thinking though that there are even cases where a married woman might feel it is best for her husband to not be in the room, especially if they both have been there, done that in the having kids and he caused her more stress those times. I consider reasoning to be valid when it comes to judging a person on their decisions, even if they have every right to their decisions no matter how I personally feel about it or who has their feelings hurt. (And yes I know you gave me her reasoning was to be a bitch, I was just adding more, not trying to counter your post or anything.)
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    1.)Exactly. Now, in such a case, I'd say divorce would likely be in the future (unless he is fine with his wife acting like that, and some men are), but it is still her right to privacy, even if she is a bitch about it.

    2.)I was thinking though that there are even cases where a married woman might feel it is best for her husband to not be in the room, especially if they both have been there, done that in the having kids and he caused her more stress those times. I consider reasoning to be valid when it comes to judging a person on their decisions, even if they have every right to their decisions no matter how I personally feel about it or who has their feelings hurt. (And yes I know you gave me her reasoning was to be a bitch, I was just adding more, not trying to counter your post or anything.)
    1.) lol probably, to do that in anger to a husband would be messed up

    2.) oh yeah there could be other reasons also and i understand totally.

    I just dont understand how people are so quick to use "feelings" to take away others rights
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    And their relationship ended for reasons that we do not know, but it ended none the less and they are not (were not) on the best of terms starting sometime during the end of the pregnancy. It doesn't matter what their prior relationship was. The current tension (or rather that at the time of the birth or assumed to be at the time of the birth) is what matters. Even if they were still together, it is the mother's right to privacy if she feels that his presence would be stressful on her. He has no right to be there, despite his wishes otherwise. It is her health on the line if she is forced to endure stress from a person she doesn't want in her delivery room for whatever the reason, not his. And in fact, that added stress even puts the baby at a higher risk of problems. So it is best, no matter his personal desire to be in the room (because his presence is not necessary) that he not be in the room.

    Hey I agree if the reason was for a medical need, and that could be true even of a father who was welcomed in the room, but by his actions was adding stress to the mother. But my sense in this case is that this woman is going to try to apply her personal reasons on other situations as well. I just think she needs to get over it. She made this baby with someone by choice, and she is going to have to deal with many more situations where she feels stressed over seeing the father. So is she going to be happy someday when her child asks dad if he was there when he/she was born, and dad says no your mother wouldn't let me?

    So she got a judge to side with her and she won round one.... she may think.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by cpgrad08 View Post
    If my wife denied me the chance to see my child born, then I would file for divorce the next day.
    Thats very selfish.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Zeppnile View Post
    Hey I agree if the reason was for a medical need, and that could be true even of a father who was welcomed in the room, but by his actions was adding stress to the mother. But my sense in this case is that this woman is going to try to apply her personal reasons on other situations as well. I just think she needs to get over it. She made this baby with someone by choice, and she is going to have to deal with many more situations where she feels stressed over seeing the father. So is she going to be happy someday when her child asks dad if he was there when he/she was born, and dad says no your mother wouldn't let me?

    So she got a judge to side with her and she won round one.... she may think.
    It is her medical procedure/health, not his. It is always her choice. She doesn't have to justify not letting him in with any medical reasons because if she doesn't want him there and he gets to stay it becomes stressful for her even if her initial reasoning was just to be mean or a jerk.

    And I don't know how you got this "sense" that she would say this stuff for other things. From the beginning she agreed he could visit the child in the hospital. He was the one that kept pushing further. And if they are having issues working out the visitation/custody arrangements civilly between them, a judge will continue to be involved, but it will likely be a joint situation that causes this.

    Some, like yourself, are labeling this as a him vs her fight that will continue on rather than them being able to work it out. And most of those labeling it as such are putting the blame for the situation on her rather than seeing that he pushed it.
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Zeppnile View Post
    You are missing the point, the child belongs to both of them, that is the law.



    Oh so now you want to use logic? Okay I'm game for that.

    So what if the mother can't breastfeed, not all women can produce milk? Then what happens, the child goes to whoever can hold a bottle?
    The child belongs to both? I am sorry but that is nice for legal talk but normally the real burden always falls to the woman. Men might be forced to pay and if they are willing to be good parents they are such things a few times/few weekends a month but that is not the same as belonging to both. A father may or not get the same level of custody is not the same as "belonging to both of them".

    I hope this person becomes a good father but his childish, selfish and immoral actions up to now have not given me much hope. I hope the mother and the father will work it out so that the child gets to know both parents but that will have to be seen in due course.

    It is not just breastfeeding, it is getting up at all hours of the night feeding the child, getting up if the child cries at night with cramps etc., some dads are good at it and if they are true and equal partners both parents will be equally invested in this (or as much as is possible). But these parents didn't even make it up to the 9 months it took to get through the delivery date without legal briefs and a lawsuit.

    How is that man going to have equal access and time with that child? They are not living together and I doubt it is in the best interest of the child to be handed over from one parent to the other parent every day or week. That is not a workable situation. Is the dad even able to take care of this child? Usually it is mothers who do all the heavy lifting in a child's life, especially in the USA. In parts of Europe men have way more time and have more equal rights compared with women when it comes to childrearing. Maybe in the US it will also be possible to do certain things in order to make fathers more involved in the raising of their children, especially if the parents are living together.

    This however is not a case of parents who live together, equal access to the child is a nice idea but with 2 parents who do not live together that is hard to accomplish.
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by OscarB63 View Post
    obviously the mother has all the rights and the father just gets to STFU and write the check.......
    He just does not have the right to be there during the birth.

    Tantrum much?

    Can you imagine.....there will hundreds of milestones in that childs life. Will he take her to court over each one?

    People have the right to privacy. Men and Women. This is a power play and a waste of the court's time.

    If she had not allowed him access immediately after birth.....I would call her out on it.

    A woman wanted privacy and not to have added stress at a time that inherently is massively psychologically and physically stressful. If he does not care about the moms health and welfare during childbirth....it says a lot about his moral center.
    Last edited by year2late; 03-17-14 at 12:34 AM.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    It is her medical procedure/health, not his. It is always her choice. She doesn't have to justify not letting him in with any medical reasons because if she doesn't want him there and he gets to stay it becomes stressful for her even if her initial reasoning was just to be mean or a jerk.
    So let me ask you, if a mother decides she doesn't want the father in the delivery room, would you say that should apply to any delivery? Lets say a mother had an argument with her husband about the baby name, and then ordered the father out of the delivery room because she said so. Do you believe she would have an absolute right to that as well?

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    And I don't know how you got this "sense" that she would say this stuff for other things. From the beginning she agreed he could visit the child in the hospital. He was the one that kept pushing further. And if they are having issues working out the visitation/custody arrangements civilly between them, a judge will continue to be involved, but it will likely be a joint situation that causes this.
    Obviously none of us knows what all of the personal issues there are between these two people. But we do know that the father had to hire a lawyer and go before a judge, so he felt very strongly about being present during the birth of his child. And who knows, maybe if there had been more time to appeal the lower judge's ruling, and higher court may have instituted a different decision? Not every judge gets these things right. I just believe that this woman was demanding privacy from a man who she wasn't "private with" for a long time. What would be so intrusive by allowing the father in the room, behind the woman so she doesn't have to see him, and her private area draped off? Delivery rooms do this all of the time.


    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    Some, like yourself, are labeling this as a him vs her fight that will continue on rather than them being able to work it out. And most of those labeling it as such are putting the blame for the situation on her rather than seeing that he pushed it.
    Why shouldn't he push it? This is a child that he was having with a woman whom he was once engaged to. They made the decision to have the baby, keep the baby, and at one point be married. She is the one who was pushing him out of being there when his child was being born. She is the one who was denying her child from having a father who wanted to be there present for the birth. This isn't about one person; it's not even about two people; this about THREE people who will only have this happen one time.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Zeppnile View Post
    Hey I agree if the reason was for a medical need, and that could be true even of a father who was welcomed in the room, but by his actions was adding stress to the mother. But my sense in this case is that this woman is going to try to apply her personal reasons on other situations as well. I just think she needs to get over it. She made this baby with someone by choice, and she is going to have to deal with many more situations where she feels stressed over seeing the father. So is she going to be happy someday when her child asks dad if he was there when he/she was born, and dad says no your mother wouldn't let me?

    So she got a judge to side with her and she won round one.... she may think.

    "Get over it?"

    Seriously, we are talking about labor and delivery. Y'all are acting like that is a time that it is realistic for a woman to control those feelings at that time.

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