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Thread: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room[W:829]

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    I'll be the devil's advocate... and say that if this guy decided he doesn't have to pay child support, a lot of people would be bitching about him being a deadbeat. I say if he's not allowed access to his kid, he has absolutely no responsibility towards the mother or the child.
    I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality. - MLK

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    This. He's an ex-boyfriend, not her husband, and they obviously went through a pretty messy break up and don't even really like one another.

    The guy simply doesn't have much of a leg to stand on here. There's no reason whatsoever why he should have to be in the room for the delivery.





    I agree with you on this. If a woman wants to raise a child completely without the father's input, she should really support the child herself as well.

    If she's not willing or able to do that, and if some extenuating circumstance is not present, she should be willing to compromise.

    However, I don't see that as necessarily translating into a "right" to be present in the delivery room. If the guy's clearly not wanted, it doesn't serve any real purpose other than to cause the mother (who is already undergoing a rather traumatic experience to begin with) additional distress.



    Again, to be fair, the most common cause of maternal mortality in the pre-modern era and in the pre-industrialized world today was / is actually infection and sepsis, caused by unsanitary living conditions or medical practices (physicians not washing their hands or properly sterilizing needles before suturing, etca), not complications from the delivery itself.

    Death from the process of actually pushing the baby out has always been somewhat rare. It may take an ungodly long time in some cases, but women's bodies do tend to figure these things out on their own more often than not.
    Do you think a mother who is stressed by the presence of someone who is not wanted in the room is healthy for her and the baby.

    DO you think a rise in blood pressure and heart rate in someone who is already physiologically stressed is healthy.

    Do you think a woman who is upset about the presence of an unwanted individual will be able to give her best effort in delivery?

    To me, first and foremost the done deal is privacy. HIPPA is pretty darn clear. Secondly, the baby is part of her until that umbilical cord is cut. Damn straight if she tries to restrict access soon after birth, I would fight tooth and nail for his right to see the child...after that it is a custody issue. But while she is in L and D.....hell no. Her health, her privacy, her choice.

    And it is not just about him seeing her vagina. Lots of things happen in L and D. Here is a woman at her most vulnerable saying things that she may later regret - that a loving husband may take in stride, but an estranged boyfriend/lover/spouse may use as ammunition. Heck, having ex in the room while in the process of childbirth you are incontinent of stool and such?

    If the guy really wants to be a good dad, he needs to start by making the childbirth experience as easy as possible for the mom.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatuey View Post
    I'll be the devil's advocate... and say that if this guy decided he doesn't have to pay child support, a lot of people would be bitching about him being a deadbeat. I say if he's not allowed access to his kid, he has absolutely no responsibility towards the mother or the child.
    He has access to the child. Not the mother. And the baby is part of the mother -physiologically dependent until that cord is cut.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by year2late View Post
    Do you think a mother who is stressed by the presence of someone who is not wanted in the room is healthy for her and the baby.

    DO you think a rise in blood pressure and heart rate in someone who is already physiologically stressed is healthy.

    Do you think a woman who is upset about the presence of an unwanted individual will be able to give her best effort in delivery?

    To me, first and foremost the done deal is privacy. HIPPA is pretty darn clear. Secondly, the baby is part of her until that umbilical cord is cut. Damn straight if she tries to restrict access soon after birth, I would fight tooth and nail for his right to see the child...after that it is a custody issue. But while she is in L and D.....hell no. Her health, her privacy, her choice.

    And it is not just about him seeing her vagina. Lots of things happen in L and D. Here is a woman at her most vulnerable saying things that she may later regret - that a loving husband may take in stride, but an estranged boyfriend/lover/spouse may use as ammunition. Heck, having ex in the room while in the process of childbirth you are incontinent of stool and such?

    If the guy really wants to be a good dad, he needs to start by making the childbirth experience as easy as possible for the mom.
    I've already said that I don't disagree with you regarding the father's "right" to witness a delivery.

    Forcing yourself into a situation where you're clearly not wanted, when the life and health of two people (mother and baby) are on the line, simply doesn't make any damn sense.

    While I would probably prefer to be there for the delivery myself, if worse came to worse, I could simply see the baby afterwards.
    Last edited by Gathomas88; 03-14-14 at 10:43 PM.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room - ABC News



    Thoughts?

    So the elements in question:
    1) Is being a witness to a birth essential to bond with said child?
    2) Is the birthing room a matter of the mother's personal privacy?

    Of course, this isn't a broad ruling that applies to everyone (every state, etc). Hospitals have their own rules and guidelines they follow - and so forth. States can rule to the contrary. If hospitals they want to change their guidelines they must make an effort to do so. Most err with the side of the mother (which is what led to this case).

    I support the ruling and the concept: Being a witness to a birth is not a right. It is a privilege that should be extended to fathers at the decision of the mother per her comfort.
    I agree with the judge. If the mother doesn't want the bio-dad there, he can't be there. If the mother wants her wife to be there, her wife can be there.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by year2late View Post
    He has access to the child. Not the mother. And the baby is part of the mother -physiologically dependent until that cord is cut.
    Which means what? She's already denying him access to the child. If she's going to go that route, then he should be free to deny her any support as well. You can't have it both ways.
    I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality. - MLK

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by year2late View Post
    Bull****. I did a 10 second google search and this was on top of the list.

    Ken Altshuler: This Mother's Day, More Moms Paying Child Support
    Gee, looks familiar...

    Guess it IS as rare as mentioned.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Anyone who says HIPPA instead of HIPAA probably has no idea what HIPAA is.

    Stop it. You come off as retarded.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatuey View Post
    Which means what? She's already denying him access to the child. If she's going to go that route, then he should be free to deny her any support as well. You can't have it both ways.
    There are always going to be times when parents of a child not living together are denied access to the child. For instance, parents that have a joint custody arrangement cannot just decide to take their children out of town with them. (My mother had to get express written permission from my father to take my siblings on a cruise to the Bahamas with her, eventhough she had full custody of them.) They are each given some time for them to have with the child without the other parent, particularly if the parents are not getting along, but neither is considered harmful to the child or a risk to the child.
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Gipper View Post
    Gee, looks familiar...

    Guess it IS as rare as mentioned.
    10 to 15% is not rare. 18% of single custodial parents are fathers. That isn't rare. And that is numbers from the census, but I'm not looking it back up for you. You can find it yourself since you are the one that continues to insist that it is rare for mothers to be forced to pay child support.
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

    Keep your religion out of other people's marriages.

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