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Thread: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room[W:829]

  1. #331
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Cardinal View Post
    Well, yes, sort of. One of the Supreme Court rulings the judge cited in ruling for her privacy was in fact Roe vs. Wade. Otherwise I think the introduction of abortion into a discussion where abortion doesn't take place (and hasn't even been considered) can only muddy and emotionally charge the discussion unnecessarily.
    Well, no one forced anyone else to join the discussion (which can only be deemed topical, in any intellectual honesty) between two members. Further, one member of the discussion had decided not to pursue that angle any longer. So, at this point, the only person to blame for the continued discussion on the subject are the people bitching that it happened. What do you suggest we do? Got midol?

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Fact is that when someone is upset their blood pressure rises, and it also rises from pain. Therefore, since the woman is already in a LOT of pain and under a lot of stress during childbirth, bringing someone into the room would only cause more problems for her. That is pretty obvious.
    I don't think most men truly understand how stressful giving birth is, especially that first one or any with complications. There is so much going on causing a woman stress. And since the average first birth labor is about 8 hours (mine lasted 20), it all just builds up over that time. And the nurses and/or doctors are constantly telling you to try to relax up til that first feeling to push. Even her breathing can affect the baby, which is why there is specific breathing taught for being in labor.

    How could any woman possibly relax with someone in the room that she didn't want in there to begin with, that she has had an intimate relationship with, and that she doesn't get along with? I just don't understand how anyone can think that it would be good or even okay to add unnecessary stress that could harm the child.
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Would this be a non-issue if the father was able to get some access to the baby at birth? Just wondering.
    We went from sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me to safe spaces.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    I don't think most men truly understand how stressful giving birth is, especially that first one or any with complications. There is so much going on causing a woman stress. And since the average first birth labor is about 8 hours (mine lasted 20), it all just builds up over that time. And the nurses and/or doctors are constantly telling you to try to relax up til that first feeling to push. Even her breathing can affect the baby, which is why there is specific breathing taught for being in labor.

    How could any woman possibly relax with someone in the room that she didn't want in there to begin with, that she has had an intimate relationship with, and that she doesn't get along with? I just don't understand how anyone can think that it would be good or even okay to add unnecessary stress that could harm the child.
    It seems to me that some guys are out to "prove" something, instead of just caring about the people and circumstances.

  5. #335
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Dude isn't a husband, a father, and certainly not a "dad". Those titles are earned, not inherent.

    Right now, he's a "hook-up", and nothing more.

  6. #336
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by American View Post
    I guess if she wants to go through that **** alone, it's her problem. I watched all my kids' births.
    Who says she would automatically be alone? My sister went through the birthing classes with me so that just in case my husband was sent away for military reasons, I'd have someone there. Many women ask female relatives or even friends to be with them during a birth, even if they do have their husband/boyfriend/baby's daddy with them as well. My sister saw both of my sons born and my mother-in-law was with me as well during the second one in all but the "naked" parts (which was fine with me, I'm not shy when it comes to being naked, but that might have been awkward). There are even people who can be hired to help a woman with childbirth, who she works with during the pregnancy to make the birth easier.
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

    Keep your religion out of other people's marriages.

  7. #337
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    Who says she would automatically be alone? My sister went through the birthing classes with me so that just in case my husband was sent away for military reasons, I'd have someone there. Many women ask female relatives or even friends to be with them during a birth, even if they do have their husband/boyfriend/baby's daddy with them as well. My sister saw both of my sons born and my mother-in-law was with me as well during the second one in all but the "naked" parts (which was fine with me, I'm not shy when it comes to being naked, but that might have been awkward). There are even people who can be hired to help a woman with childbirth, who she works with during the pregnancy to make the birth easier.
    What's being ignored is that they broke up long before she went into labor. They don't like each other . Or, at the very least, she's quite comfortable in her knowledge that she doesn't like him. Her decision to not have the father in the room didn't pop out of the blue.
    Last edited by Cardinal; 03-14-14 at 12:35 PM.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by MildSteel View Post
    The reason is that the law gives the mother the right to extract financial support from the father. That's why. If the law said that the mother is solely responsible, then I would agree, there would be no reason to go further. But since we don't do that, then the father has some right to be there. If the mother has a problem with that, she should be able to demonstrate that to an objective, reasonable 3rd party.
    That is not MOTHER SUPPORT it is CHILD SUPPORT and has absolutely no bearing on her rights to privacy. None. Even if they were married. Get over it, you do not have control over a woman's body.

    Paying child support does not come with an engraved invitation to invade a woman's privacy.

    And by the way, child support starts AFTER the baby is born. So if you think the child support is some kind of entrance ticket, it doesn't even hold up there. The baby is still connected to the mother until the cord is cut.

    And again, a person in labor already is physiologically and emotionally stressed. Having a person in the room that she does not want there is much more stressful. Why would the soon to be father want the mother MORE stressed out in the delivery room? Does he want her blood pressure higher? Does he want her to alter her focus from giving birth to the guy she is estranged from that she doesn't want in the room. If it ain't healthy for mom, it probably ain't healthy for the baby. But somehow the dad feels it is all about him.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Blue_State View Post
    Would this be a non-issue if the father was able to get some access to the baby at birth? Just wondering.
    If she is not allowing access to the baby soon after birth, now that is not right. Has that been in question?

    If she is trying to prevent that - I would wholeheartedly disagree with her.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Henrin View Post
    There is no surgery taking place. It's called giving birth, which is a natural process of the womans body.
    Idle curiosity, this natural process....do you have any concept of maternal complications that happened before the advent of modern medical care?

    Again, if she is already stressed out physiologically and emotionally....why would any father who cared about that soon to be baby WANT to stress her out more?? It amazes me that folks are fighting for this. If he is of comfort to her and is helping focus during birth...HELL YES!!!!!!!By all means.

    But I do question anyone that would not give a rats ass that the mother would be more physiologically and emotionally stressed under those circumstances. Seems like he only cares about himself. Not a great way to start being a father.

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