Doesn't make much sense to be phobic about it.
I'm sure they can be rough too, but from what I've seen, there does seem to be some truth to those claims.I've never seen a water birth, but I've heard good things, such as it's much less traumatic for baby too.
"Men did not love Rome because she was great. She was great because they had loved her." -- G.K. Chesterton
In this particular scenario though, would you FORCE yourself upon the woman in this way? I would think that if the man REALLY cares about the health of his child, and the mother, he would honor her wishes. He certainly has his rights to see the baby in the nursery and to be in the room right after the birth to hold the baby, etc.
You still have given no reason why the mother should be able to make a unilateral decision that the father cannot be there. You have made a declaration without giving a reason.