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Thread: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room[W:829]

  1. #251
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Henrin View Post
    Ok, then show me how I'm wrong. I will even admit I'm wrong and back down, but I'm not doing anything like that just yet.
    you dont have to ADMIT you are wrong and i have no interest in you admitting it, it doesnt change the fact that you are lol it is also meaningless if you "back down" or not. THat wont change the fact that your statments were either.
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Henrin View Post
    Ok, then show me how I'm wrong. I will even admit I'm wrong and back down, but I'm not doing anything like that just yet.
    From recent personal (at least I know the parents very well in the case) experience, judges do not always rule for the mothers, even when there are some extenuating circumstances in a pretty conservative state. I know of a mother who was told specifically that she could not deny access to the father of the child without a court ruling and if she continued to do so, she would lose custody. While women are favored within the law when it comes to children by many judges and in many cases, it is not always.
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    I would agree that it's a privilege and up to the mother. I think that delivering a child is a very personal moment for a woman and that it should be up to her discretion who is allowed to be there with her. Child birth is painful and uncomfortable enough, and she shouldn't be forced to feel even more uncomfortable.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    I think the point of her giving birth is a gigantic red herring in the first place, and it's really only a news story because several hot button issues surrounds the story -- it incites people's emotions. A medical procedure is private, period. If the newspaper could have found a way to cram abortion or gun rights into the story they'd have done so in a New York minute.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    The interesting thing is that many women don't actually get to ever see their children born. Yes, we experience it, but not really see it (not head and body out of the vagina anyway). I have two sons and I did not see my own hoohah while having them at all (not that I see this as a big problem). My husband was there for the first, and my sister saw both. He saw more than I did (the first glimpse I had of my firstborn was when the doctors and nurses (there were about 7-8 total in the room by the time he came out) were wrapping him in blankets as they moved him over to clean him up and do the apgar tests on him, I remember thinking I delivered a xenomorph from Aliens from that brief glimpse I had of him while they stitched me up). Pretty sure women don't even have this claimed right to see their child born considering doctors can put a woman under for a C-section if need be.

    There is no right to see your child being born. There is right to access to the child, but even that is limited, especially if the couple having the child is not married to each other and/or separated. And considering that many hospitals are putting the babies in with the mother from birth to discharge now, the mother would even likely have a right to deny access to her room, limiting access to the child even more. This decision will always come down to the mother's right to decide who she wants in the delivery room (after the hospital clears that people can be there), no matter where she delivers that child (with the only exception being if she delivers in some unexpected place accidentally) because her privacy, comfort and stress level while delivering the child is always going to outweigh any access rights to the child the father of the child might want to claim. This is her medical procedure. The baby isn't included until the baby is born.
    Honestly, would it even really be a good idea for them to see it? From the medical training I've had with the Army, we're generally instructed not to allow persons who are in medical distress to look at parts of their bodies which might appear to be gruesome.

    They say that it can contribute to sending them into shock.
    Last edited by Gathomas88; 03-14-14 at 01:10 AM.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    I have a question. IF the claim is that fathers have a right to be in the delivery room, then would that mean that all potential fathers would have that right? Could a very promiscuous woman with several potentials for the father of her child be forced to have all those men in the delivery room? DNA tests take a lot of time to come back. Are they going to order an amnio just to determine who has the real right to access the room? What about adopting parents who are chosen before the birth? Do they have a right to be in the delivery room with any delivering mother? What if the mother is underage? Or rapists? What about sperm donors?
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    I have a question. IF the claim is that fathers have a right to be in the delivery room, then would that mean that all potential fathers would have that right? Could a very promiscuous woman with several potentials for the father of her child be forced to have all those men in the delivery room? DNA tests take a lot of time to come back. Are they going to order an amnio just to determine who has the real right to access the room? What about adopting parents who are chosen before the birth? Do they have a right to be in the delivery room with any delivering mother? What if the mother is underage? Or rapists? What about sperm donors?
    That was the slippery slope the judge referred to, had he ruled in favor of the father.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Gathomas88 View Post
    Honestly, would it even really be a good idea for them to see it? From the medical training I've had with the Army, we're generally instructed not to allow persons who are in medical distress to look at parts of their bodies which might appear gruesome.

    It can contribute to sending them into shock.
    I'm just pointing out the irony of the claim that fathers have some right to view the birth when it might not even be a good idea for the mothers to see it.

    (Although, it really hasn't been much of an issue. Some women do get to see it, especially when alternative birthing methods are used. And some hospitals (I know Tripler in Hawaii) have some sort of mirror setup that they can bring out that allows a woman to see the actual birth if she wants.)
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

    Keep your religion out of other people's marriages.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by roguenuke View Post
    The interesting thing is that many women don't actually get to ever see their children born. Yes, we experience it, but not really see it (not head and body out of the vagina anyway). I have two sons and I did not see my own hoohah while having them at all (not that I see this as a big problem). My husband was there for the first, and my sister saw both. He saw more than I did (the first glimpse I had of my firstborn was when the doctors and nurses (there were about 7-8 total in the room by the time he came out) were wrapping him in blankets as they moved him over to clean him up and do the apgar tests on him, I remember thinking I delivered a xenomorph from Aliens from that brief glimpse I had of him while they stitched me up). Pretty sure women don't even have this claimed right to see their child born considering doctors can put a woman under for a C-section if need be.

    There is no right to see your child being born. There is right to access to the child, but even that is limited, especially if the couple having the child is not married to each other and/or separated. And considering that many hospitals are putting the babies in with the mother from birth to discharge now, the mother would even likely have a right to deny access to her room, limiting access to the child even more. This decision will always come down to the mother's right to decide who she wants in the delivery room (after the hospital clears that people can be there), no matter where she delivers that child (with the only exception being if she delivers in some unexpected place accidentally) because her privacy, comfort and stress level while delivering the child is always going to outweigh any access rights to the child the father of the child might want to claim. This is her medical procedure. The baby isn't included until the baby is born.
    They have special rooms in some hospitals called birthing rooms now, which are more comfortable than your typical hospital room for delivering your baby. I think you have to reserve them in advance though, but they have a mirror on the wall so that if you sit up, you could watch the baby be born. Kind of a cool option to have.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    They have special rooms in some hospitals called birthing rooms now, which are more comfortable than your typical hospital room for delivering your baby. I think you have to reserve them in advance though, but they have a mirror on the wall so that if you sit up, you could watch the baby be born. Kind of a cool option to have.
    Oh, I couldn't really sit up much when I was delivering my first child. I was pushing for over 2 hours with no progress and they finally brought in other options to aid the birth. There might have been a mirror there, but there would have been little way for me to see anything with a doctor in the direct line. (They had some sort of mirror contraption they could put up, but I doubt that would have worked very well given my state at the time.) I did have a birthing room too. Pretty much all the maternity rooms in Tripler were birthing rooms.
    "A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

    Keep your religion out of other people's marriages.

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