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Thread: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room[W:829]

  1. #161
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by RiverDad View Post
    For the sake of this argument, let's put some imaginary numbers into the equation.

    The father claims that his connection and love for the child will increase by 100% by his being present at the child's birth. The emotional experience of witnessing the birth will be so great that this father will, as a result, be a better father to the child.

    It should be clear to everyone that a child is better served by having a more committed father than a less committed father. The father in this case actually took this issue to court in order to be able to witness his child's birth. Clearly this issues means a lot to the father.

    I can't see how a mother's selfish interest can, and should, override the interests of the child in having a more devoted, committed father in his life.
    Fathers who weren't present for reasons like military deployment, sickness, having to care for other children (etc) don't have a weaker or lesser relationship with their children as a result.

    And that's a moot point: we're discussing mothers and fathers who are not married or in a close relationship to begin with (which is what this is in regard to. If we were talking about happily married husband and wife and she just wanted to have a moment I'd have a bit of a different view.)

    The delivery room is filled with medical equipment, nurses, the doctor, and usually only one or two people are allowed to be *with* the mother. Usually: they encourage the mother to only have people with her who will give her encouragement, support, and maybe fulfill the place of a Lamaze, dula, or breathing coach (etc). You know: get her ice chips, help her to the bathroom if needed, hold the vomit tray, check on her contractions and so on when nurses aren't present.

    No one sits idle in a delivery room. Everyone must do something while in there. Even fathers in a normal loving marriage are asked to suit up (full out scrubs - it IS a medical procedure. Health and cleanliness is highly important) and 'hold this' 'don't touch that' and 'stand here' - etc.

    To deliver all of my children I had to lay with my legs held Indian style in the air. My husband and a nurse had to hold my legs like that THE WHOLE TIME I was i hard labor (8 hours - 2 hours - whatever)

    After the baby is born there's little to no 'bonding' going on. Maybe the mother can hold the baby for a minute before they have to see to the baby's needs. Twice: I didn't even have that much because the babies were taken immediately for health intervention. Normally: The healthy born baby is taken and weighed, examined, cleaned, etc. You cannot touch the baby during this time. Mother is seen to, placenta delivered, vagina stitched - and so forth.

    There's no time or room for people who are not serving a beneficial role in any of these areas. He can see the baby later. That's how every man in this country did it before. My father wasn't present for the delivery of any three of us (me and my 2 sisters). not that big of a deal.

    It was major medical guffaw that went on when mothers and fathers pushed to be allowed in the PAST. That doesn't somehow become a default standard extended to everyone just because. They did that for the emotional benefit TO THE MOTHER. I loved having my husband with me because he was my COMFORT in the most difficult time of my life. We love each other and I needed him there and he did everything needed of him. A man who is not in a relationship with the woman will NOT be serving that purpose.

    It's not necessary. It's a false claim to 'necessity'.

    All of this hubub comes form people who have no sense of what goes on IN A DELIVERY ROOM, it seems. If you're not helping you're in the way - get the **** out.
    Last edited by Aunt Spiker; 03-13-14 at 10:07 PM.
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  2. #162
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Peter King View Post
    There is no right to view the birth. This is not trampling on father's rights, this is respecting the privacy and the security a woman deserves to peacefully give birth to her child.
    Again, the argument that it's the woman's body would lead us to conclude that the woman should be SOLELY responsible for the effects of getting pregnant. Since we don't practice that because we require the father to share the financial responsibility for bringing up a child, the father has rights.

  3. #163
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Henrin View Post
    Ok then, support the law. If the state owns the hospital or a private individual than exactly how does she have the right to control access to the room?
    You can start here:
    Medical privacy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    The you can look into HIPAA which is the most recent privacy law (it mainly centers on the sharing of health information but deals with privacy as well).

    Generally speaking to address your question, the room is for her, she's the patient. Him, not so much, in fact, not at all.
    Last edited by clownboy; 03-13-14 at 10:06 PM.

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Henrin View Post
    Ok then, support the law. If the state owns the hospital or a private individual than exactly how does she have the right to control access to the room?
    A woman who lies in a hospital bed, delivering her baby has the expectation of privacy IMHO. If you occupy a phone booth or public restroom stall you have the expectation of privacy so why should a woman in a delivery room not have that?

    This man was not invited to participate or be in the delivery room and has no right to encroach on her personal privacy during child birth.
    Former military man (and now babysitter of Donald Trump) John Kelly, is a big loud lying empty barrel!

  5. #165
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Henrin View Post
    Ok then, support the law. If the state owns the hospital or a private individual than exactly how does she have the right to control access to the room?
    so i can go to the hospital with your medical and private info in it and simply look at your files and info? the hospital can let me do that without your say? your school? your work? i mean how do you have the right to control the room that stuff is in

    thats awesome!!!

    tomorrow I think ill go to the hospital and just walk in where they do the breast exams and the gynecology areas the people in there have no right to keep me out if the hospital says its ok!!!!
    then downtown to the model agency, im gonna go in all the womens dressing rooms while they are naked! again the models have no say if the agency lets me!

    after that off to the mall, more dressing rooms and bathroom stalls!

    ooooh i got an idea, i think im going to open a clothes store and put two way mirrors in the dressing rooms and allow people to watch. I wont tell the people in the rooms though, its my property ill do what i want!!!! They are naked on my land so if i want to allow others to walk in on them and see thier privates thats my right!!!!

    all that is of course just as absurd and false as saying there is a right to see a child born for the father LMAO


    sorry she has the right to control her privacy over certain issues and that most certainly applies here


    you still havent told us what right you are talking about? how come?
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  6. #166
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Peter King View Post
    A woman who lies in a hospital bed, delivering her baby has the expectation of privacy IMHO. If you occupy a phone booth or public restroom stall you have the expectation of privacy so why should a woman in a delivery room not have that?

    This man was not invited to participate or be in the delivery room and has no right to encroach on her personal privacy during child birth.
    It's also a rental of sorts because your bill will include room charges, just like a hotel.
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by MildSteel View Post
    Again, the argument that it's the woman's body would lead us to conclude that the woman should be SOLELY responsible for the effects of getting pregnant. Since we don't practice that because we require the father to share the financial responsibility for bringing up a child, the father has rights.
    Maybe the father has rights after the child is born, invading on a woman's privacy during childbirth IMHO does not exist. There is no right to be present in a room, especially not a delivery room.
    Former military man (and now babysitter of Donald Trump) John Kelly, is a big loud lying empty barrel!

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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Henrin View Post
    People have already told me that. It's not good enough.
    It will have to be. If she is more stressed than necessary, it can negatively physiologically impact the mother and child. The doctor and L and D nurse in the room will tell you that. Child birth is stressful enough.

    I am assuming you do not think your right to be in the room and watch supersedes the health and wellbeing of mother and child.

  9. #169
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    It's not necessary. It's a false claim to 'necessity'.
    You're making an objective judgment regarding a subjective issue. The father sure believes that this is necessary for his relationship with his child.

    An analogy would be telling a bride that a church wedding isn't necessary to her happiness. Lots of people get married by a Justice of the Peace. Her lifelong dream of a church wedding is inconsequential TO YOU.

    This is about the relationship between the father and his child. It's about what he thinks is important and in the best interests of his child.

  10. #170
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    Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

    God I wish they would make this a permanent law.
    ‘This is not peace, it is an armistice for 20 years.’ (Ferdinand Foch. After the Treaty of Versailles, 1919).

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