New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room[W:829]

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

Henrin said:

How about I just not show up then? I will stay at home watching tv and she go to the hospital alone. Then whenever I get around to it I will hold the child. Seems legit.

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I was not aware that you were the estranged boyfriend of this story? In normal cases it is very good if the father is there to support the mother, but if that father is not supportive but a source of conflict and distraction than he might as well be in the hall outside until the birth has happened.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

What a harridan of a woman though, we can all agree on that, right? Her pettiness here is off the charts. She can't put aside her own selfish and vindictive feelings and let the father of her child be present for the birth. She has to deny him this irreplaceable experience. Calm down and take a chill pill you shrew.

Seeing how so many in this thread have had no compunction about bad-mouthing the father, isn't it fair that we now turn all judgmental on this selfish woman? Everyone's on board with that right? I mean, all it would take for this problem to go away is for her to agree to the father's presence so that he could see his baby come into the world. That's nothing to fight about.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

RiverDad said:

What a harridan of a woman though, we can all agree on that, right? Her pettiness here is off the charts.

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Uh....what? Did you read an article that reported details on their relationship?

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

RiverDad said:

What a harridan of a woman though, we can all agree on that, right? Her pettiness here is off the charts. She can't put aside her own selfish and vindictive feelings and let the father of her child be present for the birth. She has to deny him this irreplaceable experience. Calm down and take a chill pill you shrew.

Seeing how so many in this thread have had no compunction about bad-mouthing the father, isn't it fair that we now turn all judgmental on this selfish woman? Everyone's on board with that right? I mean, all it would take for this problem to go away is for her to agree to the father's presence so that he could see his baby come into the world. That's nothing to fight about.

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Absolutely do not agree. I keep thinking you've typed the stupidest post of the thread, and then you keep coming up with even more moronic concepts.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

Henrin said:

What are the chances of that? Is there like a huge number of women dieing because the father was in the room that I'm unaware of?

Gosh, how do they even deal with the stress of the doctor being in the room? Jesus, those women be dieing with all that stress. Oh right, that doesn't happen.

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Might I suggest googling stroke and hypertension and child birth.

It is really odd that you see no difference between a doctor that is there to medically keep you and your child as safe and healthy as possible and an ex-spouse who does not make her feel comfortable and secure.

Seriously. You do not get it?

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

Summerwind said:

Absolutely do not agree. I keep thinking you've typed the stupidest post of the thread, and then you keep coming up with even more moronic concepts.

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That's just your Female Privilege talking.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

RiverDad said:

That's just your Female Privilege talking.

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Actually no, it's just stating the obvious. There are many men on here, in this thread, thinking the same thing. So what are you going to claim they've been feminized?

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

year2late said:

Might I suggest googling stroke and hypertension and child birth.

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I did. I was unable to find the percentage of pregnancies that women experienced what you speak of and died.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

Gathomas88 said:

Honestly, would it even really be a good idea for them to see it? From the medical training I've had with the Army, we're generally instructed not to allow persons who are in medical distress to look at parts of their bodies which might appear to be gruesome.

They say that it can contribute to sending them into shock.

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That didn't seem to be a big concern. I was given a choice on whether I wanted to watch or not. Of course, it's probably completely different circumstances if there are any complications occurring during the birth.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

RiverDad said:

What a harridan of a woman though, we can all agree on that, right? Her pettiness here is off the charts. She can't put aside her own selfish and vindictive feelings and let the father of her child be present for the birth. She has to deny him this irreplaceable experience. Calm down and take a chill pill you shrew.

Seeing how so many in this thread have had no compunction about bad-mouthing the father, isn't it fair that we now turn all judgmental on this selfish woman? Everyone's on board with that right? I mean, all it would take for this problem to go away is for her to agree to the father's presence so that he could see his baby come into the world. That's nothing to fight about.

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Don't forget about her drinking and gambling problems.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

RiverDad said:

That's just your Female Privilege talking.

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Well, maybe it is the voice of experience talking instead of female privilege. If she became a mother than she knows the pain and joy that comes from childbirth. Maybe that is why she knows how it feels having the right persons in the delivery room with you.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

ChrisL said:

That didn't seem to be a big concern. I was given a choice on whether I wanted to watch or not. Of course, it's probably completely different circumstances if there are any complications occurring during the birth.

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Honestly, most mothers are probably too distracted to really pay much attention in the heat of the moment anyway.

It's also over fairly quickly for most women, which doesn't allow too much time for it to have an impact.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

Henrin said:

I did. I was unable to find the percentage of pregnancies that women experienced what you speak of and died.

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Fact is that when someone is upset their blood pressure rises, and it also rises from pain. Therefore, since the woman is already in a LOT of pain and under a lot of stress during childbirth, bringing someone into the room would only cause more problems for her. That is pretty obvious.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

Gathomas88 said:

Honestly, most mothers are probably too distracted to really pay much attention in the heat of the moment anyway.

It's also over fairly quickly for most women, which doesn't allow too much time for it to have an impact.

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Depends I guess. Some people film it so they can watch it later. :shock: Even though it's pretty awesome, it's also kind of gross, and I never really had the desire to watch a delivery.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

Henrin said:

I did. I was unable to find the percentage of pregnancies that women experienced what you speak of and died.

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Did you at least find that hypertension in pregnancy is a bad thing and do you understand added stress increased blood pressure?

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

ChrisL said:

Depends I guess. Some people film it so they can watch it later. :shock: Even though it's pretty awesome, it's also kind of gross, and I never really had the desire to watch a delivery.

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I kind of "shock therapied" myself with it a while back. For the most part it was alright, but there are a few things which I really wish I hadn't watched. :lol:

It is honestly kind of amazing how much difference the environment can seem to make though.

As I said before, a lot of hospital deliveries look absolutely awful.

i.e.

Woman: "AAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHHH!!!"

Doctor: "You have to push!"

Woman: "AAAAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHH!!!"

And that just carries on until the baby comes out.

The alternative stuff is more relaxed a lot of the time.

I've honestly seen a couple of water births where the woman barely even grunts before the baby slides out.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

Henrin said:

I did. I was unable to find the percentage of pregnancies that women experienced what you speak of and died.

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21 women die for every 100,000 births. Now while that is nothing compared to South Sudan, there will be women who have died from complications during childbirth.

Between 2006 and 2009, 6.1% of maternal deaths were due to Cerebrovascular accidents (aka stroke) and 9.9% die from Hypertensive disorders of pregnancy. So that proves that years2late was actually spot on.

CDC - Pregnancy Mortality Surveillance System - Maternal and Infant Health - Reproductive Health

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

ChrisL said:

Fact is that when someone is upset their blood pressure rises, and it also rises from pain. Therefore, since the woman is already in a LOT of pain and under a lot of stress during childbirth, bringing someone into the room would only cause more problems for her. That is pretty obvious.

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Blatantly obvious.

But the funny thing is....we do not even need to discuss the health ramifications of adding obvious stressors to the delivery room.

It is a privacy issue. It is a woman undergoing a medical procedure. She has a more than reasonable expectation of privacy. It is really that simple. Guys.....you just don't have control over a woman's body.

Yeah, sending the issue through the courts was really a way to make an expectant mother feel safe and secure with you. Frankly, it sounds like he just set the tone of the next 18 years.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

Peter King said:

21 women die for every 100,000 births. Now while that is nothing compared to South Sudan, there will be women who have died from complications during childbirth.

Between 2006 and 2009, 6.1% of maternal deaths were due to Cerebrovascular accidents (aka stroke) and 9.9% die from Hypertensive disorders of pregnancy. So that proves that years2late was actually spot on.

CDC - Pregnancy Mortality Surveillance System - Maternal and Infant Health - Reproductive Health

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Ok, so there is a 10% chance it could happen. That is really not that convincing.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

Peter King said:

21 women die for every 100,000 births. Now while that is nothing compared to South Sudan, there will be women who have died from complications during childbirth.

Between 2006 and 2009, 6.1% of maternal deaths were due to Cerebrovascular accidents (aka stroke) and 9.9% die from Hypertensive disorders of pregnancy. So that proves that years2late was actually spot on.

CDC - Pregnancy Mortality Surveillance System - Maternal and Infant Health - Reproductive Health

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And putting someone who is already under a great deal of emotional and physiologic stress....under MORE stress....just makes that scenario more likely.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

digsbe said:

If you aren't married really you have no right to her info. Even when you are there are still privacy laws in place. Technically it is not even legal to disclose medical info to a spouse unless they designate so.

According to the law, you don't have a right to peep in on her medical procedures if she doesn't want and neither does she have the right to do so to you. The gray area would come in with this still being the father's child and possibly a custody/parental right thing, but medically there is nothing that gives you any right to witness the birth of your child if the mother wishes for you not to be there.

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What's so sad to me here is that so many moms and dads use their kids as pawns or "payback" and that this couple took it right to the delivery room. I feel very sorry for the baby.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

Henrin said:

Ok, so there is a 10% chance it could happen. That is really not that convincing.

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You might want to add a decimal point and a couple of zeros onto that.

Though, regardless, I can't see how adding an element that is only going to foster antagonism in an already stressful environment is in any way productive.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

Henrin said:

Ok, so there is a 10% chance it could happen. That is really not that convincing.

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HOLY ****!!!!!!

A few huggy feely bonding moments versus the safety and well being of the mother and child.

Seeing a child born is a wonderful thing. Never saw my own born. I got over it. Missed the moment, but once I woke up from anesthesia and saw 10 fingers and toes and heard the unmistakable newborn cry....the fact that I missed the moment was trivial in the big picture. It was one moment missed in a lifetime of millions of moments to come.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

year2late said:

Frankly, it sounds like he just set the tone of the next 18 years.

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Surely you must have meant SHE set the tone, right? She is, after all, the harridan in this saga. Her pettiness can be the basis for great tales that will be told around campfires for generations.

Re: New Jersey Judge Blocks Dad From Delivery Room

Henrin said:

Ok, so there is a 10% chance it could happen. That is really not that convincing.

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16% of the deaths happen due to the conditions mentioned to which you responded that you could not find percentages, and still you complain? I was not talking about how great the chances were, just wanted to provide the percentages you could not find according to your own post to years2late.

Years2late stated that stress can lead to maternal deaths, provided high blood pressure and strokes as evidence. I could add heart attacks to that, these too can be partly caused by high blood pressure and stress.

FYI, here is one of your statements:

Henrin said:

Does no one really get the point of my argument earlier? Do people realize that the pain meds women get can very well kill the child and adversely affects it's chances of survival?

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I have found websites that state that there are always risks to both mother and child during childbirth if they get opiates, but where are your statistics on how many fetal deaths these meds caused precisely? I have been looking but most websites I have found were talking about child deaths during the first years and that figure is lower than maternal deaths due to childbirth.

Fetal death can have several causes which may of may not have anything to do with pain medications. Years2late was quoting an actual verified risk to the mother due to stress which could be caused by being dragged into lawsuits because some jerk thinks he is more important that the mothers wishes during childbirth.

I am real happy this judge threw this anti-social jerk out of his courtroom and barred him from going into the delivery room because there is no right to being in the delivery room for fathers to be/parents/grandparents/husbands/children/sisters/brothers/mother in law/father in law/etc.etc.etc.

The only person who has the right (or the need) to be in the delivery room is the mother, medical staff and the mothers Lamaze coach (if she has one) or someone to help her during childbirth. Someone she wants there to aid her, not some estranged boyfriend if she does not want him in there. It is as simple as that, he has no legal or moral right to be there.