If you work for the military or are a military dependent and you expect money to come to you quickly, then you have overexpectations. That simply isn't how it works all the time. And government shutdowns will screw things up, even when it causes problems like this.
But there is help out there, and not just from civilian sources that want to look good. The military has liaisons to help families, particularly when there is a death. And there is Navy/Marine Corps Relief (which I'm sure would help). Plus, omsbudsmen who should still be helping the family and militaryonesource.com. This is just a few. Any military family that doesn't know about these is just hurting themself because the military simply isn't perfect.