Her feelings are irrelevant to whether his alleged (now recanted) having a gun in hand was a crime.
Anyone can feel threatened... it isn't a crime unless reasonable menacing behavior was involved, along with opportunity and ability to carry out same.
Now I don't know exactly what happened, I wasn't there and the story keeps changing... I'm just saying that a gun's presence doesn't necessarily mean squat, unless it is 'brandished' in a menacing manner. Granted my background is a bit unusual but I've had quite a few heated arguments with other men while we were both armed, without feeling like I was in peril of being shot.