BTW, I am not suggesting holding his witto hand because he is a victim of a bad environment. My mother pounded the "behavior is a choice" mantra into my head far too deep to let anyone off the hook for it. It's re-parenting and empowering, having expectations and accountability. it would take time. But unless someone has a screw loose (think Charles Manson ) I believe they have the potential to make different choices for themselves. Not everyone. But it is worth the effort to redirect those who can be.