Last edited by Napoleon; 03-05-13 at 01:47 AM.
And yes, I realize that a child with no burden of their own would have no trouble sleeping knowing that the work of providing 24 hr/day care was being provided by someone else.
And I understand that while your family member descended into the hell of dementia, you were comfortable. And that's all that matters.I was comfortable in the knowledge that she was well taken care of and not in the clutches of a for-profit industry with a "nurse" who does nothing but loom over residents, and complain about 911 operators, as they die in agony on the floor. Or like the poor woman at Life Care Centers of America Inc who was basically put on the rack for 84 minutes. Or the poor lady at Eureka Healthcare who choked to death on her dinner because the for-profit institution cut staff to increase profits and there was no one around to help her. Etc.
No need to worry yourself about what it was like for the grandparent you dumped them on. All you need to worry about is judging people making the hard decisions you never faced while pursuing your own interests.
Last edited by Napoleon; 03-05-13 at 02:02 AM.
And I'm sure your grandmother confided her adult responsibilities to you, her grandchild. After all, that's what grandparents do, right? They don't ask their children to quit their jobs, or their grandchildren to drop out of college, because neither your parents nor you have any moral responsibility to care for your own family members. It's all on grandma, so there's no reason why you should lose any sleep while your great-grandparents mind slowly deteriorates. I'm sure that was comfortable experience for them, you know with the loss of memory and functioning bowels that always accompanies dementia.My grandmother never considered it a burden either; its what she wanted and acknowledged as her moral responsibility. These decisions are only difficult if you make the wrong ones. I think people have a natural sense of guilt about it because they know, in the vast majority of cases, they're not doing the right thing. Maybe the nurse in this case will too but I have no such expectation for the company's president or the director of this facility. Its par for the course in a for-profit system. They value money more than the life of their residents; which is why they didn't help her.
Americans are so enamored of equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom.
Alexis de Tocqueville
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-C G Jung
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