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Thread: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by rocket88 View Post
    Sperm doesn't make one a father. The adoptive parents, who are by the way the parents the child has bonded with over the last 2 years, are likely heartbroken. As they should be. It's very sorry that this man lost his rights, but ripping the child away from what she believes to be her parents isn't helping the child grow up well adjusted. Now the child will pay the price, which she does not deserve to do.
    The child is young enough to not even remember much of what happened. I certainly do not remember much prior to when I was 5 years old. And legally, yes, sperm means a lot when it comes to who the father is. If you don't believe me, just take a look at all the women who collect child support.
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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by Capster78 View Post
    The child is young enough to not even remember much of what happened. I certainly do not remember much prior to when I was 5 years old. And legally, yes, sperm means a lot when it comes to who the father is. If you don't believe me, just take a look at all the women who collect child support.
    Sorry, a father is the one who does the hard work of parenting. Shooting your sperm into a woman hardly qualifies as the hard work.

    I am an adoptive father, and believe me, even though the child is too young to have conscious memories of this, she will carry the scars forever.


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    Too bad we have to observe human rights.

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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by rocket88 View Post
    Sorry, a father is the one who does the hard work of parenting. Shooting your sperm into a woman hardly qualifies as the hard work.
    As I said ealier to that from Vik..

    You do not need to raise a child in any shape or form in order to be a father. It is not required, it is not needed, and it does not go towards answering the question being asked. It instead answers the question of who is caring for the child as a father figure. Which is an entirely different question that deals with social workings of the practice of fatherhood.
    The fact is when you are asking the question of who is the father its a biological question. If you were to ask who is the father figure for the child however you would be right. Asking a biological question and only referring to the later is rather improper.

    Lastly, as I said rights are gained at birth of the child and must be given up for others to gain access. Do you actually want biological fathers to just be ignored by the government so people can have their children?
    Last edited by Henrin; 01-28-13 at 06:46 PM.

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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by rocket88 View Post
    Sorry, a father is the one who does the hard work of parenting. Shooting your sperm into a woman hardly qualifies as the hard work.

    I am an adoptive father, and believe me, even though the child is too young to have conscious memories of this, she will carry the scars forever.
    It does not matter who carries the burden, legally, a man is responsible if he gets a woman pregnant. It should be no different for either sex in this sense. That is equality.

    When I joined the military I had to meet a certain standard as a male joining the military physically. A woman does not have to work as hard because their standards are much much lower than mine. But as far as the military is concerned, as long as we meet our respective standards, regardless if one is tougher than the other, we have the right to continue serving our country.
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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    The Judge stated that the Freis knew early on that Achane had never been consulted and Archane was not consenting to the adoption and did not even know that Bland put the baby up for adoption. Once they knew the facts of the matter, to pursue the adoption was unconscionable on their part.

    The judge's decision to return the little girl to her biological dad doesn't fix all the wrong that's been done. This little girl is no doubt going to be confused and hurt for at least awhile as she adapts to life with the dad she never knew. The adoption agency has a lot to answer for here and at the very least, i would hope that procedures are put in place to ensure that this doesn't happen again.

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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    This isn't entirely about the best interests of the child. What if Mr. and Mrs. Smith have a baby and the state determines that the baby is better off with some other family? There's nothing wrong with Mr. and Mrs. Smith; it's just that the other family is better.
    If you expect people to be rational, you aren't being rational.

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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Oh please - if they love that child as much as you claim they do then they'd happily let her be back with her father who never should have lost her to begin with and maybe strike up a relationship with him so they can stay in contact and still be in her life.
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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Every party in this story holds part of the blame.

    The father didn't know about the adoption but he did know that his former girlfriend was pregnant. He was not present for the birth and thus could not get his name added to the birth certificate; he was not there for the subsequent 22 months; he did not pay child support. Any of these things would have created evidence he was an involved parent. So what if he is in the military? They still get paid and can still wire money. If you care so much about being a recognized father then you do the right thing. The adoption agency wouldn't have been so clueless if there had been a paper trail of his parental status, but because he had zero involvement there was also zero record of him as the father.

    The adoption agency is partly responsible for sure, but so is the mother. Clearly, the details of the child's parentage were not fully investigated. The woman probably told the agency that she didn't know who the father was. So what was the agency to do about it? Even with genetic testing, you can't locate a father whose name is not known. The father would've been known if he had been there for the birth and had his name on the certificate. If the man wanted to be a father, his presence would have created physical proof that he was the father.

    At the same time, what is to stop any woman from claiming that she doesn't know the father and just handing it over to the state? Clearly there must be some kind of investigation process by adoption agencies to look into this? The couple in this story are legally married. Did the agency not think to contact him to ask if he was the father?

    Every side of this story is ****ed up.

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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by Henrin View Post

    The fact is when you are asking the question of who is the father its a biological question. If you were to ask who is the father figure for the child however you would be right. Asking a biological question and only referring to the later is rather improper.
    I'd argue that I'm far more of a father to my children than the man who dropped them off at a Russian orphanage. My daughter still remembers him, but if you ask her who her father is, she'll tell you it's me.

    Lastly, as I said rights are gained at birth of the child and must be given up for others to gain access. Do you actually want biological fathers to just be ignored by the government so people can have their children?
    And what happened to this particular person was a terrible abrogation of his rights. I won't argue otherwise. In the end though, the one paying the price is the child. Taking her away from the only family she's known is also wrong, and two wrongs don't make a right.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jetboogieman View Post
    This issue has been plowed more times than Paris Hilton.
    Quote Originally Posted by Oborosen View Post
    Too bad we have to observe human rights.

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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    Oh please - if they love that child as much as you claim they do then they'd happily let her be back with her father who never should have lost her to begin with and maybe strike up a relationship with him so they can stay in contact and still be in her life.
    That's not true at all. As an adoptive father, I'm not about to send my children back to Russia just because some drunk makes a phone call and says he's still alive.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jetboogieman View Post
    This issue has been plowed more times than Paris Hilton.
    Quote Originally Posted by Oborosen View Post
    Too bad we have to observe human rights.

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