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Thread: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by Viktyr Gehrig View Post
    I'm not complaining about nature. I'm pointing out that in nature there is a real and valid reason for why there is such a profound difference in the reproductive rights of men and women.
    If we get back to when the child is born and not in a time period we are no longer in at this point in the child's life its apparent that the rights of both parties are equal. What we have is a child and two parents that both had a hand to play in the creation of the child. You might not consider the input of a sperm cell measurable to what the woman put in and perhaps its not, but it is still a factor all things being equal and at this point in time he holds equal parental rights. Yes, before birth even if I disagree with your abortion stance the woman does hold more rights, but that is not the time period we are in and those rights are no longer in play.


    You later go on to argue that the act of raising a child is of less importance than the act, not even of creating a child, but the act of conceiving one.
    A child is created at conception and developed after that point, but yes, I made that argument. Anyone can take care of a child and take the role of a father, but there is only one biological father and no one can replace him.

    It's curious that everyone in this thread seems so eager to accuse me of having no regard for fathers and fatherhood when you are making these arguments.
    I'm a bit amazed too honestly.

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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    The only person at fault would be the mother that withheld from the father that she gave birth to his child. The adoptive parents have legal custody and have raised the child, but that custody was granted in a dishonest way by the father not having a say in things. They adopted the child most likely without ever knowing that a father was present that would also love the child (had he even known the child existed).

    It's tricky, but it speaks to the screwed up legal system that we have in America.
    Last edited by digsbe; 01-28-13 at 04:04 PM.
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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by digsbe View Post
    The only person at fault would be the mother that withheld from the father that she gave birth to his child. The adoptive parents have legal custody and have raised the child, but that custody was granted in a dishonest way by the father not having a say in things. They adopted the child most likely without ever knowing that a father was present that would also love the child (had he even known the child existed).

    It's tricky, but it speaks to the screwed up legal system that we have in America.
    I thought the adoptive family knew about the father? The mother just presented him as someone who was uninvolved and not interested in raising the little girl.

    It looks like the state is investigating the adoption agency, from what I've seen they're the ones at fault and should be held legally liable for this whole mess.
    Last edited by Monserrat; 01-28-13 at 04:21 PM. Reason: sp
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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by Capster78 View Post
    Are you serious!!!!!!! This man has every right to HIS child. If the woman choose to withold the knowledge of the childs birth to the father then how is he to claim his rights as a father. FATHERS HAVE RIGHTS ALSO!!! Society brandishes men who walk away from their children as dead beat fathers... but then in the same breath, gives them no rights to be a father in these kind of situations. What a bunch of hypocritical crap!
    Sperm doesn't make one a father. The adoptive parents, who are by the way the parents the child has bonded with over the last 2 years, are likely heartbroken. As they should be. It's very sorry that this man lost his rights, but ripping the child away from what she believes to be her parents isn't helping the child grow up well adjusted. Now the child will pay the price, which she does not deserve to do.


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    This issue has been plowed more times than Paris Hilton.
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    Too bad we have to observe human rights.

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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by Monserrat View Post
    I thought the adoptive family knew about the father? The mother just presented him as someone who was uninvolved and not interested in raising the little girl.

    It looks like the state is investigating the adoption agency, from what I've seen they're the ones at fault and should be held legally liable for this whole mess.
    I think the mother has a fair amount of blame here. She provided false data and sought to mislead both the adopting couple AND the bio-dad.
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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    I see - well I don't loath the adoptive parents because they didn't do anything wrong.

    The birth mother did the wrong and so have legislators by failing to address the rights that biological fathers do have. . .it's a problem in our society - we don't consider their place as a parent enough.

    Yet we'll chastise them when they're 'not there' . . . in essence - our society tells fathers to **** off, they don't matter as much - and then get angry when they do exactly that.
    Yes, the mother was wrong. But the child is the one paying the price.

    I'm all in favor of equal rights for fathers, as I am in the middle of a divorce in which my ex-wife is seeking sole custody. But we are not the biological parents, their names are Evgeni and Mariya, and live in Russia if they are still alive at all. I cringe at the thought of them showing up now.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jetboogieman View Post
    This issue has been plowed more times than Paris Hilton.
    Quote Originally Posted by Oborosen View Post
    Too bad we have to observe human rights.

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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by tessaesque View Post
    I think the mother has a fair amount of blame here. She provided false data and sought to mislead both the adopting couple AND the bio-dad.
    Maybe. If she knowingly lied or misled than yeah but she did go through an adoption agency and they didn't do their job, I'd start the investigation with them.
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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by rocket88 View Post
    Yes, the mother was wrong. But the child is the one paying the price.

    I'm all in favor of equal rights for fathers, as I am in the middle of a divorce in which my ex-wife is seeking sole custody. But we are not the biological parents, their names are Evgeni and Mariya, and live in Russia if they are still alive at all. I cringe at the thought of them showing up now.
    Paying the price by being taken away from her true biological father who does love her and would have cared for her if he only knew she wasn't aborted.

    He payed the price, too, by being lied to, deceived and denied his child and was first told she was aborted - and then had to fight for two years to gain custody after he found out she was born and alive.

    And tragically so have the adoptive family - by being thrust into a situation in which their hearts have been mangled all for the spiteful actions of one said female.

    Which is why such things should NOT happen - Personal history should be investigated and if it's possible the child was conceived just prior to a divorce within a marriage then legislation should protect the rights of the father.

    If he was contacted by the agency and told 'your former wife wants to give your child up for adoption' - do you think he would have say 'I don't care - go ahead?'

    After spending two years fighting to gain custody of her - which should never have happened this way - I don't think that he would have initially denied her to begin with if the right thing was done.

    It's not the poor guy's fault it took the courts almost two entire years to come to a decision, you know. It's not like the kid was two and he went 'oh - I have a kid . . .ring ring . . . hello judge, I'd like my kid back' and then the next day - poof - done. The courts prolonged the situation extending it out to a painful and disgusting length of time. . . they should have cared more and acted earlier.

    Of course it goes without saying the situation should be happening at all - fathers do have rights.

    Allowing the child to be raised by adoptive parents and denying his undeniable parental rights all her life would have been disgusting and with malice.
    Last edited by Aunt Spiker; 01-28-13 at 05:46 PM.
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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    Paying the price by being taken away from her true biological father who does love her and would have cared for her if he only knew she wasn't aborted.

    He payed the price, too, by being lied to, deceived and denied his child and was first told she was aborted - and then had to fight for two years to gain custody after he found out she was born and alive.

    And tragically so have the adoptive family - by being thrust into a situation in which their hearts have been mangled all for the spiteful actions of one said female.

    Which is why such things should NOT happen - Personal history should be investigated and if it's possible the child was conceived just prior to a divorce within a marriage then legislation should protect the rights of the father.

    If he was contacted by the agency and told 'your former wife wants to give your child up for adoption' - do you think he would have say 'I don't care - go ahead?'

    After spending two years fighting to gain custody of her - which should never have happened this way - I don't think that he would have initially denied her to begin with if the right thing was done.

    It's not the poor guy's fault it took the courts almost two entire years to come to a decision, you know. It's not like the kid was two and he went 'oh - I have a kid . . .ring ring . . . hello judge, I'd like my kid back' and then the next day - poof - done. The courts prolonged the situation extending it out to a painful and disgusting length of time. . . they should have cared more and acted earlier.

    Of course it goes without saying the situation should be happening at all - fathers do have rights.

    Allowing the child to be raised by adoptive parents and denying his undeniable parental rights all her life would have been disgusting and with malice.
    I'm with you right up until taking the child away from the people that she's bonded with for 2 years. That's not in her best interest, and shame on the Dad for putting his desires ahead of his daughter's needs. I think that given the nature of the case, he should have consented to the adoptive parents keeping her and working out visitation. Especially since he's in the military. What happens to the kid when he gets deployed to a war zone?


    Quote Originally Posted by Jetboogieman View Post
    This issue has been plowed more times than Paris Hilton.
    Quote Originally Posted by Oborosen View Post
    Too bad we have to observe human rights.

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    Re: Sgt. Reunited With Baby Given Up for Adoption

    Quote Originally Posted by tessaesque View Post
    "I don't know who the father is".
    That excuse is going to have to stop. Any woman putting a child up for adoption must be required to notify the father. She knows who she has slept with. At the very least, there should be proof of a concerted effort by the mother to locate the father prior to being allowed to give the child up for adoption. This should be a law. If a father can not be found, there should be criteria that the mother should have to follow in order to prove she made a real attempt to find the father.
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