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Thread: High school teacher tells graduating students: you’re not special

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    Re: High school teacher tells graduating students: you’re not special

    This is just so strange; a large number of people here just think kids have it easy - I'm sure some might but some don't . . . I dont' think it's fair to have such a blind assumption that every child is somehow priveledged and spoiled. I think some of our issues in this country are because of hte exact opposite; they're abandoned and neglected too much.
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    Re: High school teacher tells graduating students: you’re not special

    Quote Originally Posted by jpevans View Post
    Can't all be Charlie Sheen!

    Sure you can be like Charlie Sheen. Take a stab at it, if this is your goal.

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    Re: High school teacher tells graduating students: you’re not special

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    This is just so strange; a large number of people here just think kids have it easy - I'm sure some might but some don't . . . I dont' think it's fair to have such a blind assumption that every child is somehow priveledged and spoiled. I think some of our issues in this country are because of hte exact opposite; they're abandoned and neglected too much.
    That's a good point, but the abandoned and neglected are unlikely to be in this graduating class. If they are than good for them, and they've already learned the message.

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    Re: High school teacher tells graduating students: you’re not special

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    This is just so strange; a large number of people here just think kids have it easy - I'm sure some might but some don't . . . I dont' think it's fair to have such a blind assumption that every child is somehow priveledged and spoiled. I think some of our issues in this country are because of hte exact opposite; they're abandoned and neglected too much.
    I don't think that all kids have it easy. I do believe that generally speaking, we coddle and spoil our children, and tell they how special and wonderful they are, to their future detriment. Of course most of us think our own children are special. I am no exception to that rule of thumb, and imo, we should believe that of our own children. To do otherwise is to lack appreciation for the gifts that they truly are.

    That being said, when you frequently tell a child how wonderful and special he is, without his actually having done anything to show that he really is special in some regard, you are giving him the false impression that his worth is superficial. It's like treating a beautiful woman differently than you would an ugly woman, solely because of her physical beauty. It's superficial, and it uses her shallowness to make her think her self-worth is tied to her looks, rather than how she as a thinking, feeling person.

    Children need to feel like they are special to their parents, but they also need to realize that the world will make them prove their worthiness.
    "God is the name by which I designate all things which cross my path violently and recklessly, all things which alter my plans and intentions, and change the course of my life, for better or for worse."
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    Re: High school teacher tells graduating students: you’re not special

    I think there's a huge difference between being a nutter-mother . . . being a normal parent . . . and then being a neglectful parent.

    I think the average parent falls in the middle - with the extremes that shape negative situations being on either end of hte spectrum; yet still having children who are balanced and successful spit ones lack of reasoning and balance.

    Most kids I know aren't told they're special - and aren't given special treatment. . . in fact; I bet you every day someone in their life tells them they're ****.
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    Re: High school teacher tells graduating students: you’re not special

    coming from a parent, that address would be cold
    but from a stranger who is charged with telling them something the new graduates need to hear
    kudos
    we are negotiating about dividing a pizza and in the meantime israel is eating it
    once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed

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    Re: High school teacher tells graduating students: you’re not special

    Quote Originally Posted by Erod View Post
    Bravo!

    In this "Everybody gets a trophy" and "don't keep score" society we've been racing children in - many of which are now parents themselves - this is refreshing to hear in of all places...Massachusetts.

    I'm sure being the son of David McCullough allowed this teacher the assuredness that he could get away with such a commencement message, but it is refreshing nonetheless. And I have no doubt it shocked a kid or two into reality, and sent their helicopter parents into a tizzy.

    Now, can we get this guy to talk at the Democratic National Convention to tell their entitlement-addicted constituents to grow up to?
    Ya know, I'm a different kind of 1% er. My kids actually have to earn money by doing tough work in the yard, or in the house helping Mom. Of course I grew up with practically nothing, and earned my way into the group, so I suppose I'm not your typical liberal idea of a 1%er. I reinforce with my kids (three boys one girl) everyday at least once that nothing in this world is free, to question everything they hear and trust your instincts about practically everything you'll face in life. I tell them to not be afraid to question the accuracy of information that is taught to them, and if any teacher diciplines you for nothing more than giving your opinion when asked for, then I'll deal with them in the adult world. I tell them to not worry about bullies that going through at least some level of bullying is part of life, and makes you stronger and that you'll have the last laugh anyway as these people generally are popular for a while in school, but end up with nothing as everyone around them matures and all their "friends" that once were will be no longer. I tell them that fighting with words is a far better way to achieve your goals, BUT every once in a while you'll need to fight with your hands for the things that really matter to you most. I tell them that nothing in this world is more important than family, and that staying close to each other is a recipe for a happy well rounded life.

    Anyway off on a tangent, but essentially the OP gave the right message!

    My favorite most annoyingly used word with my kids is "TOUGH", deal with it, whatever "it" may be. I don't do whine, go tell someone that is more willing to coddle you. Of course I'm not completely insensitive on real important issues that they have, but as all us parents know, how often is your childs whining a matter that needs your attention?? Not very.. All of my children except my youngest boy (Age 2 1/2) can iron their own clothes, do their own laundry, cook simple meals, even sew their own clothes. I'm fair with my kids, and they always know that if they don't agree with a decision I or Mom have made that they can reverse our decision if they bring a well thought out argument as to why we might be wrong. I've changed my mind and so has Mom many times because our kids have argued well. Even though we might not agree with them, the effort and thought ut into the exercise was worth a little leeway..

    Anyway that's my parental philosophy in a nutshell, and it seems to be working so far.

    Summed up, I give my kids what they need, NOT what they want. If they want something, they'll have to earn it.


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    “When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.” - P. J. O’Rourke
    “Socialism is great until you run out of someone elses money” Margaret Thatcher

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    Re: High school teacher tells graduating students: you’re not special

    In principle, I agree with the High School teacher, his words are necessary to give the students a sense of reality.

    In today's politically correct world children are given an abnormal amount of attention, and there is a very real danger that when they face the world they will find it is aggressive, ruthless,competitive and most importantly - horror of horrors nobody is going to pamper them at all.

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    Re: High school teacher tells graduating students: you’re not special

    I agree with what has already been said - most children are coddled too much, and that's why kids are 30 and still living at home. I had it rough when I was a kid. We didn't have anything. I didn't have new clothes practically my entire childhood. I started getting new clothes when I got a job and bought my own. It made me understand that if I want something, I have to work to get it.

    While I do spend a little money on my children, I do so because I want them to have it better than I did. I bought my daughter a pair of Nikes the other day that cost more than my mother ever spent on me in 4 years. But I can do more for her, so I do. Do I let her sit around and do nothing? Nope. She has chores and they are done properly. Her homework is done when she gets home. If she starts screwing up in school, she gets her priviliges pulled. If she were old enough, I'd have her get a job, so long as it didn't interfere with her grades, so she could understand about buying things on your own, with money you earned. She wants a better phone, she wants to keep her nails done, she wants expensive clothes, she wants internet on her phone, etc. She'll get all that when she gets a job.

    I just don't understand kids who don't want to work and get a job. It's all I wanted to do. Get a job, get a car, get an apartment. Kids now want to live at home indefinitely, sponge off of Mom and Dad for money to go to the mall, and then borrow their car to take them there.

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    Re: High school teacher tells graduating students: you’re not special

    Quote Originally Posted by Superfly View Post
    I just don't understand kids who don't want to work and get a job. It's all I wanted to do. Get a job, get a car, get an apartment. Kids now want to live at home indefinitely, sponge off of Mom and Dad for money to go to the mall, and then borrow their car to take them there.
    It's because you and I had to get a job, if we wanted things and wanted independence. In my parents' home, it was "my house, my rules". When I raised my children, the rule was "my house, my rules". Nowadays, many parents don't have the stomach to push the fledglings from the nest and watch them soar". Fortunately, I had parents who taught me to fly, and in fact, made me desire to soar.
    "God is the name by which I designate all things which cross my path violently and recklessly, all things which alter my plans and intentions, and change the course of my life, for better or for worse."
    -C G Jung

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