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Thread: For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage

  1. #11
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    Re: For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Harry Guerrilla View Post
    I mean, the mother has the handle the child support stuff, but other than that, there is no legal divorce mess to comb through.
    That's if she decides to go through with collecting child support though.
    It's still messy, even if there are no legalities involved. The article states that these relationships last an average of 10 years. Many marriages don't even last that long. Separating after years together and having children together is never easy. Married or not. You still have to figure out who keeps the house, dog, car...whatever.
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  2. #12
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    Re: For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Arcana XV View Post
    It's still messy, even if there are no legalities involved. The article states that these relationships last an average of 10 years. Many marriages don't even last that long. Separating after years together and having children together is never easy. Married or not. You still have to figure out who keeps the house, dog, car...whatever.
    I agree to a point.
    The legal process makes it more difficult to wade through though.

    The articles says live together relationships like this are more likely to end than standard marriages.
    Really, I'm not passing judgement to all people who live like this, I can understand the reasoning.

    I, generally, oppose these relationships, because it mostly doesn't serve in the best interest of the child/children and there are some ethical problems with the tax/state benefits system, which these people can exploit, that married people can't.
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    Re: For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by j-mac View Post
    Except that reliable, peer reviewed, and revered studies show that children do much better in all catagories when raised in household with BOTH parents present, and committed.


    j-mac
    well there you've put your finger on a key difference. marriage is no longer about the kids, it's about self-expression. the kids are mostly there to make you feel good about yourself, and take a definite second-seat to "whether or not you are happy".
    Last edited by cpwill; 02-19-12 at 11:50 PM.

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    Re: For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Arcana XV View Post
    It's still messy, even if there are no legalities involved. The article states that these relationships last an average of 10 years. Many marriages don't even last that long. Separating after years together and having children together is never easy. Married or not. You still have to figure out who keeps the house, dog, car...whatever.
    indeed. and then you need to deal with the fact that you have thrown all kinds of extra burdens and disadvantages onto your children, who deserved better from you.

    the rise in cohabitation is of a piece with the rise in divorce rates, and the subject of the OP: we have become a society with a degraded level of long-term commitment. too late we learn that there was good reason for all the social structures society had raised around the institution of marriage.

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    Re: For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by 1Perry View Post
    The government subsidizes this. Stay single and get all sorts of tax benefits and a huge refund. Get married and lose it.
    which is why we need a constant standard deduction for each individual; along with an extra credit for children.

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    Re: For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by cpwill View Post
    which is why we need a constant standard deduction for each individual; along with an extra credit for children.
    It's also why people need to grow the hell up and take their responsibilities as adults, and we as society should hold them to it. Shame goes a long, long way toward curbing poor behavior.
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    Re: For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage

    I was confused by the article. Were they referring to white women only the entire time - or just for a portion of the relayed statistics?

    That part is stupid, though:
    One group still largely resists the trend: college graduates, who overwhelmingly marry before having children. That is turning family structure into a new class divide, with the economic and social rewards of marriage increasingly reserved for people with the most education.
    What - only educated people know how to get married? LOL

    Maybe it's this: people who value a solid family dynamic, higher education, and exercise personal restraint and responsibility are more likely to marry and postpone having children . . . or something?
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    Re: For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Harshaw View Post
    It's also why people need to grow the hell up and take their responsibilities as adults, and we as society should hold them to it. Shame goes a long, long way toward curbing poor behavior.
    It used to, anyway. These days, not so much. Instead, all it gets is the well-intentioned being condemned for being “bigots” and “judgmental”.

    It has always, been, is now, and will always be true that a stable human society must be built on families that consist of a husband and wife, united permanently in marriage, faithful and committed to each other and to whatever children they may produce. That this is no longer considered politically-correct does not make it any less true, nor will that political-correctness in any way shield or protect us from the destructive ills that society inevitably suffers when we deviate from this model.
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    Re: For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Bob Blaylock View Post
    It used to, anyway. These days, not so much. Instead, all it gets is the well-intentioned being condemned for being “bigots” and “judgmental”.

    It has always, been, is now, and will always be true that a stable human society must be built on families that consist of a husband and wife, united permanently in marriage, faithful and committed to each other and to whatever children they may produce. That this is no longer considered politically-correct does not make it any less true, nor will that political-correctness in any way shield or protect us from the destructive ills that society inevitably suffers when we deviate from this model.
    You seem to be forgetting societies that raise children as an extended family and their bio parents don't have much to do with it. Faithful and committed? How prevalent is infidelity and divorce? What about polygamist societies? What specifically are these ills that you speak of. Plenty of societies / cultures deviate from the model you speak of.

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    Re: For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Harry Guerrilla View Post
    I agree to a point.
    The legal process makes it more difficult to wade through though.

    The articles says live together relationships like this are more likely to end than standard marriages.
    Really, I'm not passing judgement to all people who live like this, I can understand the reasoning.

    I, generally, oppose these relationships, because it mostly doesn't serve in the best interest of the child/children and there are some ethical problems with the tax/state benefits system, which these people can exploit, that married people can't.
    It's not my place to oppose or approve of other people's relationships, but I guess I can see where you're coming from. As for the benefits, that's really not the couple's fault if the system is set that way. I was just curious about the comment in the article on US live-together couples breaking up at a higher rate than in other countries. I'm guessing the Scandinavian countries where living together is pretty much common-place, although the article doesn't really specify.
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