We can ask ourselves who created all those widows and orphans. Was it the Coalition? I don't think so. And if we don't know the numbers, as is clear, then there is little point in discussing them unless we are trying to paint the Americans, or the Coalition troops, as the villains.. All we do know is that there were a lot of people killed, just as in most wars. Would there have been more killed without the Gulf War? Nobody knows that either, and we shouldn't pretend otherwise.
There will be plenty more widows and orphans within the next few years, in the Middle East and elsewhere. Perhaps we can start counting them now.