Thread: How to build a Pyramid.

For ten years part of my job was moving safes. At times with only rollers, levers, blocks of wood, and shims, I and my coworker would move up to 6 ton safes around, up and down stairs, ramps, over curbs and such. The Egyptians who built the Pyramid had the exact same tools available to them. When it dawns on you the simplicity of my theory, which I call twide, (the way I would do it), you will ask how I was the first to think of such an obvious method. I use this analogy. You know how Lincoln Logs are notched at the ends so the middles are close fitting? Who do you think was the first to come up with that? A leather elbow patched tweed jacket wearing tenured Oxford professor or a guy in the woods with an axe? Egyptologists and archaeologists largely were the only ones to really ponder this. Not a safe mover with a massive brain. The details are in the basement. Following is the bare bones.

The great Pyramid of Giza stands 481' tall. The sides are 756' long. The slope is a tad under 52 degrees. It's made up of over 2.3 million blocks averaging 2.5' high and 3' x 4' wide and deep. The average weight is 5000 lbs. 203 levels make up the pyramid. The problem is getting a 2.5 ton block up 2.5' at a time with out a forklift. Do that once and then do it 202 times for the highest block. Here is the best way put forth in over 200o years. Set up 5 steps. The first is 6" high. Then 1', 1.5', 2', the top of the fifth step is even with the top of the level the block will sit upon.

The fine art below shows how to go up one step. Feel free to question, mock and ridicule this. If you don't understand something ask. The biggest thing I'm looking for is flaws in this process. The process is finished in the next post. Print them out and tape them to your fridge. Show them to your teachers and drinking buddies. E-mail to tenured professors and ask how a blue collar guy came up with this and they couldn't. Annoy as many people as possible. Try to claim as your own and I'll sue you. I could publish this or write a book on this and get rich. But then you know me. I just want to prove my brain is larger than Billo's.

And the rest. Get it? Really, no ones thought of this. Except for the first guy and me, teacher, of the massive brain. Wonder if the 9/11 crew will claim I'm wrong because they can prove the pyramids were built by aliens.

Originally Posted by cnredd

I have read this through and have decided that there is a glaring error in your sketches...

There is no chance you can get shorts on that small if your legs were really that big...

They have no back.....

Originally Posted by Old and wise

OK, now explain this. In your third picture when the right side of the block is sitting on the ground, how are you going to get the lifting lever under a 2 1/2 ton block?

Third picture doesn't get levered, gets pulled. Maybe you mean the 4th picture. Several ways. There is some evidence of "nipples" that were later broke off of blocks. Of indents on some blocks. In my safe moving days once we got the safe off the flat surface with a wedge, we just made sure to always leave a little something under the safe, shim, 2x4 whatever for space for the lever to fit under. It's a small thing. Trick of the trade. Also in twidi something I haven't put forward yet is to simply have a grove chiseled into your steps just for the times you blow it and lose your block off a roller or lever, or crib. It would also lets you not worry about keeping a space under your block. 2 million blocks are going to travel over your first steps so what's a little more time in the quarry throwing a groove in the step? Good question though. Shows you're paying attention.

Old and wise, pray tell, why do you and no one else respond to this thread? Tashah did in the basement but....... I LIKE YOUR QUESTIONS. Gives me the opportunity to show my stuff. Levers. They are the damnest thing. You know an old smart guy named Archimedes once said, "give me a lever long enough, a fulcrum strong enough, and I can move the world". Long ago when I first joined this site I used to say often I will only post what I know from my experience and then throw in my opinion. No opinion yet on this thread. Old and wise. Keep asking. But I moved safes for ten years. The attached picture is my rendering of what the industry calls a J-bar, a dog leg, a Mule tongue, a Johnson bar. The wood part is made of Hickory. I've use 2x4's and other mediums in a pinch. Yes they will shred. Consider the Egyptians had at their disposal all the wood of Africa, (they have various strengths you know, to include Mahogany, excluding Birch or Balsam), at their disposal. These guys were good, hence the pyramids. They knew how to pick the best wood for levers. Anyway, I used the J-bar that was there for years. Sometimes I would hang on the end and get help to hang with me. Wood, correctly picked and shaped, is up to the challenge. I see from your questions you're a little skeptical on the fine points of moving heavy objects. Rest assured I wouldn't put my azz on the line over little matters such as these. But don't let that stop you from asking the questions you do. They are poignant and relevant. In short, a 4" thick lever, say, has incredible strenght. I'm not jerking your chain here. I've been paid day in and day out for years to utilize these methods. Shorter yet, it will lift such a weight. With my experience I don't consider 2.5 tons very heavy. And I know of a whole bunch of dead Egyptians that will back me on that one.