It will fail.
It will always fail.
Why?
Because the faith behind it
does not have enough WIN!
That's why.
Hey you?
Yes, YOU!
Are you aware that your current religion is suffering from massive amounts of Epic Fail?
That’s right, it has “The A1ds*”.
What’s the cure for that you may ask?
Meaty injections of WIN!
And Psyonetiks is that win.
100% win.
We are often asked to describe Psyonetiks, to sum up such a complex theosophical sophistry, with such clumsy tools as mere words hardly seems to do it justice at all: but sum up we must.
Simply put:
~ZOMG! LIEK PSYOETIKS IS
FINAL BOSS OF RELEGEONS! IT
FUXXING PWNS ALL OTHER
GHEY-ASS CULTS! ~ *2
Psyonetiks is the one true religion as I myself often say:
“Our lies are New & Improved!”
Don’t be fooled into filling your brain with inferior products, marketed by our
spurious competitors.
We don’t ban sausages, we don’t have lots of tricky thou shalts to remember to stick to, no self flagellation's, no unsightly burkah ruining your hair-do, you never ever have to visit church, we won't beat your women, we don't demand confession, we don't want you to attend a mass wedding, we don't expect you to worship crucified 2000 year old robo-jews, we don't demand kosher, we don;t harp on about halal and we are not going to trick you into joining an amoral moneycentric mind controlling cult though a memetic guilt and fear complex instilled at a young age (like some fundamentalists we could mention...)
We’ll ask you nicely to join our Evil Mind Controlling Amoral Moneycentric Lie Filled Spacebatshat insane Cult instead *3.
Don’t be blagged by the Buddha, confuddled with the Christ, jibbed by
Jews, scammed by Scientologists, shafted by Satanists, evolved by Evangelicals, co-opted by Krishna’s, instigated by Islam, procured by
Moonies, worked over by Wicca, freaked out by fundamentalists or fobbed off with any inferior Product.
No other religion is made from 100% pure fecking WIN! *4
No other religion can offer you your choice of eternal damnation, or eternal
transenligtenment, and especially not at such a cheap price.
You want an intricate network of incomprehensible acronyms to fill you
with SMUG and make you sound cooler than all the other cultists?
You got it in Psyonetiks.
