Here's the only passage in the Bible that specifically deals with any form of birth control:
"Then Judah said to Onan, 'Go in to your brother's wife, and perform your duty as a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.' Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother's wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD; so He took his life" - Genesis 38:8-10
So, I guess God hates the pulling out method. Or maybe not. That's not the only thing Onan did that could be considered wrong. He also disobeyed Judah's order to continue his brother Er's seed. Maybe THAT'S what displeased God, not the pulling out part. Or it could be both. The only certainty here is that it is not conclusive.
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Teaching abstainance to unmarrieds wouldn't violate any Christian principals because the Bible assumes celibacy for singles already.
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That depends on how you interpret the Bible. The laws against pre-marital sex could be considered obselete, just like the laws against women teaching in church. How many other laws supposedly only applied to certain people at a certain time, and not necessarily to future generations?
Maybe the need for virginity before marriage was critical in the 1st century, when:
- There was no effective contraceptive methods to prevent pregnancy. Then as now, a child being brought up in a single parent home tends to be disadvantaged.
- A woman with a child could not survive without the support of a father or husband.
- There was no dependable method of avoiding STDs, and no effective treatments or cures.
- The average time interval between puberty and marriage was only a few years - perhaps even months.
But with the availability of good birth control methods, financial support programs, safe-sex practices, effective treatments for most STDs, maybe safe-sex between a committed, monogamous couple is no longer a sin. Since the time interval between puberty and marriage is now on the order of 15 years, it is impractical to expect most people to maintain their virginity until marriage.
We are punished
by our sins, not
for them.