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Originally Posted by FallingPianos  mine refuses to stretch out or tear on its own. meaning that sex is at least slightly painful, every time. |
Some women have what is known as a "resistant hymen"; basically the skin of it is just thicker, tougher, or more rigid than normal, so it does not stretch or tear easily.
One of my favorite authors, Kathryn Harrison, had this hymenectomy procedure done at her mother's behest before she went off to college. She describes the procedure (which in her case involved not only incising the hymen but then stretching the vaginal opening with a graduated series of, basically, dildos) in her autobiographical book "The Kiss". So, if you want to read a description of the procedure from someone who's actually had it, get that book.
It is done on an outpatient basis with only local anesthetic- generally a topical anesthetic such as lidocaine.
If there is pain afterward, it is minor enough to require only over-the-counter analgesics such as Advil.
If sex hurts every time, I would definitely recommend seeing a doctor and demanding the procedure.
If you and your doctor don't see eye to eye on the need for such a procedure and he/she tells you to just deal with it, I would seek another doctor. That is what I had to do, with this situation I'm having.